BrightestYoungThings: Uncorked DC: Beaujolais Nouveau

The most wonderful time of the year is fast approaching, DC, so get out your little black dress, beret, and dark lipstick to offset your wine-stained teeth. No, not Thanksgiving, not the Steven Colbert Holiday Special (Nov. 23), but the third Thursday in November - le Beaujolais Nouveau est arrivé! Find here a primer and some background for the uninitiated. Don’t bother remembering all the details (really, unless you’re a true nerd like me and are fascinated by the concept of carbonic maceration), just keep in mind that BYT is throwing an amazing fête and you need to be there (so répondez s'il vous plait).

Vin de Merde, or "a very bad and disloyal plant"

Beaujolais is truly an amazing wine and even more amazing gimmick at its core. Beaujolais is a region in France (called AOC, or Appellation d’origine controlee) and as such there is more than one Beaujolais: you can have Cru Beaujolais (the highest quality), Beaujolais Villages (for year-round drinking), and the quaint Beaujolais Nouveau, which will be celebrated Thursday, November 20 at midnight around the world. Beaujolais is a simple, virginal wine. To wit, if Merlot is the sullen whore of the wine world, Beaujolais is her adorable kid sister who wears jumpers still says “gosh!”. It’s light, fruity, and best served chilled (52º is optimal). When I say “fruity” I am not kidding; imagine liquidating gummy bears and drinking them. It’s so light and fruity because the grapes have little contact with the skins while fermenting (the skins combined with oak aging are what gives a wine its tannic nature, also known as the dry, astringent feeling you get in your mouth when you drink it) and most Beaujolais sees no oak (if it’s oak aged it will be noted on the label). This is not a wine you want to keep in your cellar for ten years or hell, more than two years at best. Beaujolais Nouveau (“New Beaujolais” for those who haven’t figured this out yet) is even fruiter than Cru or Villages; it ferments in a few weeks at most to as little as four days (four days!) and is jammy, fruity, and has notes of banana and pear on the nose. It’s bottled 6-8 weeks after the grapes are harvested – folks, this is a quick turnaround time. Unlike most wines that are fermented in barrels, vats, or tanks with added yeast, Beaujolais Nouveau is fermented by carbonic maceration. This means they take tons of whole, uncrushed Gamay grapes, seal them in an air-tight container, and pump in carbon dioxide. This anaerobic environment stimulates fermentation at the cellular level, meaning that the grape is fermenting from the inside out! SCIENCE!

L'Affaire Duboeuf

Beaujolais Nouveau used to be (and still is in some circles) a crappy bistro wine. It’s not good served in chilly November; it’s too early, generally has bottle shock after shipping, and it’s better suited to spring weather and spring food (think a salty Easter ham, unless you keep kosher in which case think….oh hell, I don’t know, salty matzoh?). A good comparison would be Milwaukee’s Best (Beaujolais Nouveau) versus Sierra Nevada. Or Magic Hat #9. Or any beer that’s not Beast. I’m not saying Beaujolais Nouveau tastes like pee (it doesn’t), but the comparison I’m trying to make here is that it just is not a good wine. It’s fruit juice when compared to a Merlot or Chianti or ANYTHING. It’s not really meant to be paired with meals, it should be served chilled to mask any flaws, and it’s marketed as a Thanksgiving wine though I recommend you serve it BEFORE you eat dinner as it will make everything else taste a little off. So why the hell is it so popular? The answer is George Duboeuf, négociant extraordinaire and le roi du Beaujolais. This savvy winemaker thought how can I get rid of an unpopular wine that’s not selling and turn into something spectacular? He came up with the idea of a great race to Paris to determine who could deliver the Beaujolais Nouveau the fastest to Paris. This caught on in the rest of France and le monde Francophone, and spread worldwide. In 1985 French law officially decreed that Beaujolais Nouveau could not be released until the third Thursday in November (conveniently before Thanksgiving in the US) and the frenzied partying stateside began. It’s a gimmick for sure, a marketing ploy so brilliant it’s only bested by Valentine’s Day (a scam by card makers and chocolatiers to get hapless suckers to fork over money to show their “love” one day a year. Bitter? Not me!) and the Steelers’ “Terrible Towel”.

“Le Beaujolais nouveau est arrivé!”
Now you know the back story, but what leads up to the big fête? Well, the wine is then bottled and shipped around the world. In the past they used any means necessary as they had very few days to ship – even using motorcycles, elephants, and the Concorde jet. Nowadays, due in part to shipping costs and pressure from outside forces wanting to control the carbon footprint, Beaujolais Nouveau is given more days for shipping and encouraging the use of sea freight. Once it arrives it cannot – AND WILL NOT- be opened until midnight on the Thursday before Thanksgiving. I thought “surely people don’t actually follow this, some asshole has to open a bottle before then just to break the rules a bit”. Folks, people are serious about this stuff and store owners and shippers play by the rules.
This stuff isn’t opened until midnight, and when it is you can bet it’s a huge affair.
It’s an excuse to party, and what a hell of a party BYT will throw.
Remember the election party? Sure you do. If you don't it's because you probably hit your head on a tree limb as you were trying to climb a bus shelter on 14th street in the ensuing melee.
Now imagine that kind of enjoyment in a classier, more sumptuous, French décor-inspired location – that’s 1905.
At $10 and free Beaujolais Nouveau at midnight it’s a steal. Expect hip French music.
Expect people in sophisticated 60s-esque couture (think mod minidresses and nicely done eye makeup) celebrating as only BYT can.
Expect it to sell out (as it's being capped below 100) so when I suggest you RSVP (to wine@brightestyoungthings.com) you had better do it.