Brightest Young Things

Last night's episode of "Top Chef" kicked off with Ashley crying about not being there for her brother's baby birth, Matin talking about growing up in the woods of France and Michael Voltaggio dismissing everyone as competition but himself, his brother and Mike Isabella.
So, from the get go, it was obvious that these would be the people at the top and at the bottom this week, since, lets face it, BRAVO has only one way of playing you and we should all know it by now.

It was a desert themed episode. It would have been awesome if they had a dessert challenge in the desert but I guess BRAVO is not into alliteration.

Tim Love was the guest judge and the quickfire challenge (again a high stakes one, bringing the winner 15 grand) involved making food with CACTUS. Now-I personally think that this is a genuinely hard thing because if you've never worked with it (which most people haven't) there is no way of knowing what to do, resulting in: slightly slimy, slightly sour, slightly everything but right products.

Laurine, Mike Isabella and Matin were in the top 3 (the first time EVER that Jen was not up there, which you just know ate her up inside), and Mike Isabella won.
Now, somehow I am slightly less annoyed with him these days and it both worries and calms me.
Did I just already get used to him?
Did they decide to make other people a little more annoying? (like Matin?)
I don't know, but when they cut back to him with his tan and his ed hardy shirt, I, for the first time ever, did not decide to throw something at the screen.

Anyway, then they told them they were going to cook for 12 cowboys in the desert and sleep at the ranch (so "they get acquainted with the conditions") the night before, which resulted in a vaguely hilarious tee-pee sharing, ghost story telling, voodoo practicing sequence.

AND THEN IT WAS TIME TO COOK.
The thing that worried me the most was the fact that they had shitty portable coolers instead of a fridge, but that aside, they had 4 fire pits, a bunch of shitty pans and a shelter under which to cut stuff.
In the process we learned that Ashley grew up really poor and was "very familiar with out houses and fire pits as a result", that Kevin loves horseshoe throwing (and that we ALL LOVE KEVIN), that Laurine lived on a ranch in Colorado, that Ron LOVES swords, that no one cared about Jen in this episode, that Eli hates camping, that Robin is clueless, that Bryan Voltaggio is the calmest, coolest person to ever exist, that his brother is a cocky little punk (but so talented) and that even though there is no cooking in ceviche, you still really need to know what you are doing.

The tasting went pretty dismally actually with Tom spitting out Matin's food, Robin's shrimp being described as "tasting of chlorine", Ron's drink as "disgusting" and so on and so forth.

In the end Ashley, Laurine AND The Brothers Voltaggio were in the top 4 (with the 2 women being visibly relieved to not be anywhere near the bottom and the 2 men being visibly nonplussed at being in the top again) with Bryan, with his polenta and pork, winning the elimination challenge for the 3rd time (out of what, 4 or 5?) and his little brother being a little pissed about it.

Predictably enough, Matin, Robin and Ron were in the bottom and I was hoping they would send Robin home because she, frankly, is not bringing anything at all to the table, but it was not the day. Matin and his little red scarf were sent packing and now all is again in balance with the universe and Mike Isabella is back to being the most annoying person on the show.

Commendably for BRAVO, this episode brought some nice changes of pace, Laurine emerging as a more confident contestant (shades of Aryane last season maybe?), Ashley reclaiming her own voice, Jen being given a little bit of a humility pill with no top scores anywhere near her and Ash slowly becoming the most entertaining person to watch, all quietly confident and funny and not too obvious about his homosexuality (which, lets face it, is something BRAVO loves to play up)

Next week, in what looks like a really fun episode, Toby Young returns, Penn & Teller guest judge and I predict Robin goes home, and not a day too soon.

WHAT DID YOU ALL THINK?