Every day this week, Steve and Allan from Middle Distance Runner and a special DC musical guest are eating a region-specific hot dog from around the country, reviewing it, and comparing it to a professional wrestler. Middle Distance Runner is having a DC-only release show at the Black Cat this Saturday for their new, self-titled EP.

Day 4

The Dog: “Katz’s Deli Dog”
The Venue: Katz’s Deli
The Region: New York, NY
The Specs: An all-beef hot dog cooked on a flat grill with sauerkraut and brown mustard.
The Guests: Death By Sexy (Sexy Dexy, J.R. Death, and Christian)

J.R. Death

Many a time, my bandmates in Death By Sexy and I have been invited over to eat weiners at the Middle Distance Runner house. This, however, was the first time we’d actually been made to write a blog about it. I have written a diary about the previous times, but the ink is all runny from my tears of shame.
The delicious franks that we slid down our throats with MDR were called Katz’s Deli Dogs, from New York City. As Allan remarked, the casings had a nice snap to them, and the kraut on top was delicious as well. Unfortunately, the taste was somewhat dulled by our consumption of 40 ouncers of Colt .45, which, true to Billy Dee’s statement, “works every time”. And in case you didn’t know, the way Colt .45 “works every time” is by giving you the beer shits. Compounded by the hot dogs, sauerkraut, and the watching of The Frogs’ seminal video Toy Porno, we all were woken up in the morning, not by the usual ringing of the alarm clock, but by a louder and more urgent rumbling from our insides.
In reality, this whole report was just an excuse to write the following sentence, and finally have it published somewhere.
Thank you, Middle Distance Runner, for giving me diarrhea.

Steve

The hot dog doesn’t get much more standard than this. Betsy Ross couldn’t have sewn together a more American dog. It’s standard to the point of being redundant, but hey, it’s a fucking hot dog. So I ate 3 of them. Then I whimpered and told Death By Sexy to turn away because they’re super tough and I didn’t want them to tell everyone I’m a sissy.

Allan

This is THE New York hot dog. I went on a search and got some natural casing wieners. Thank God. The casings make a huge difference in your hot dot experience. Throw the mustard and kraut on there and slam a DxS signature Colt 45 and you’ve got yourself one hell of a terrible feeling going on. I’ve never had a period, cause I’m a dude, but I think I got a taste of it that night. (Eww wait no….you know what I mean.)

Final Verdict

Marty Jannetty

This dog is easy enough to underestimate, but if you taunt it enough, it’ll make you cry. It might get left by the wayside while other dogs get more attention, but it’s still at the professional level and will crack heads if need be. Oy vey, that’s a good dog!

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