There are plenty of things to do on a Saturday in DC.

And you’re not doing any of them. You’re going to BYT’s Summer Camp kickoff tomorrow. I just relieved you of the hardship that is deciding what to do on a glorious summer Saturday. You’re welcome.

There’s nothing better than a frosty, high-octane drink in your hand to prepare you for removing various articles of clothing and letting everyone see that not only do you have the most bitchin’ pair of floaties, but you have a pierced belly button as well (hell, I think everyone got it done when they turned 18. Almost a rite of passage, like owning Jagged Little Pill when you were 14 and pretending to sympathize with Alanis Morrissette when she’s warbling about blowing Dave Coulier).

Swimming Pool

• 3/4 oz half and half
• 3/4 oz coconut cream
• 2 oz pineapple juice
• 3/4 oz vodka
• 3/4 oz white/clear rum
• 1/4 oz blue curacao

Shake first five ingredients well over CRUSHED ice in a shaker, strain into a large highball glass over crushed ice. Float curacao on top and garnish with stemmed cherry and pineapple chunk. If you couldn’t tell already, you can practically smell this from across the room. On the first sip you taste the pineapple and coconut and you think hey, this isn’t that bad.

Then it hits you like back draft in a burning room: the bitter taste of furniture polish mixed with blue curacao and a smidge of cream to top it off. This drink isn’t the most pleasant, gentle experience (it ain’t no Sidecar) but holy hell…if you haven’t taken off your clothes before you drank this, you will do so immediately after consumption.