This drink isn't actually called "I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass", but when I drank it I immediately thought of the Yo La Tengo album title because holy shit, if drinks could talk this is what the Fat Sailor would say.
Fat Sailor
- juice from half a lime
- 1 ¼ oz Rose's lime juice
- ¼ oz Tia Maria
- ¾ oz clear rum
- 1 ¼ oz dark rum
- 1 ¼ oz Bacardi 151 or similar high-octane rum
Shake well over crushed ice in a shaker, strain into a large highball glass over crushed ice. Drop the squeezed lime into the glass. First off, you can smell this from the other room. You may enjoy it if you're a big rum fan but otherwise it smells like a gas station full of smelly old drunks who are huffing paint thinner, which is probably where this drink originated.
You know how people clean their fridge and take all their leftovers and boil them on the stove for four hours and call it "leftover chili" or something to that effect? This is like"leftover chili". It's like someone said "I have an ounce of rum left in some old rum bottles and I really want to pass out early tonight, what can I make with this?"
*For those who are wondering, Tia Maria is a coffee liqueur simiar to Kahlúa using Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee beans. These beans are fermented with cane spirit, vanilla, and sugar and the end result is about 20% alcohol. DId you get too sick off Kahlúa in college and can't drink it anymore? Try Tia Maria!
God loves a cheerful giver.
Has anyone ever noticed how all of a sudden freezing it became? This intense cold reminds me of Stalingrad. Yes, I was there in the trenches. Brutal Russian winter, fierce fighting. I was quite young then. Kicked their Wehrmacht asses all right, I suppose. The crucial battle of the WW2, btw. Where was I? Oh yeah. Every serviceman was issued 250ml (appx.3/4 pint) of p u r e alcohol a day, every day. And it was all free. No Tia Maria or any of this cuntibollocks crap.
Ernest, you remind of Grandpa Simpson. as in when he says "in nineteen dickety-two we all wore onions on our belt, as was the style at the time. and we had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser stole our word for "twenty". I chased him all over Europe trying to get it back but I gave up after dickety-six miles".
"You know how people clean their fridge and take all their leftovers and boil them on the stove for four hours and call it “leftover chili”[...]"
Who does this?!!! WTF?
You never knew people who did this? I had a neighbor who seriously would empty her fridge and boil random stuff for hours and call it chili and then try to pass it off on us as a neighborly gesture. stuff like leftover chinese food and cans of creamed corn all mixed together.
I've never even heard of the concept, and I wish I was still blissfully ignorant.
Niether have I, and we wish you kept such concepts secret, Danielle.
Ernest, what the fuck is all this bullshit? You "in the trenches"? Very funny. HA. HA. HA. And how about the concept of a day job? Or is it something you wish to remain blissfully ignorant of? I bust my hump in the office every day, you know. Bobby, tell him this is unfair.
WHATTHEFUCK?!
I was fine (kind of) when ernest/peggy/bobby/nancy started posting as a single human being, but he/she is back at it.
svet/cale/libby/bytatlarge pleasepleaseplease make it stop.
The decent people often wonder who emits this
Much annoying squeaking noise now and then?
On these otherwise much exciting pages
Well, now we know:
This yap is emanated from a certain little cunt* named Amanda.
*Yes, she is quite young yet totally evolved as a total cunt already.
that will shut up the little bitch for quite a awhile, I suppose.
But really, Ern, you must apply for the weekly wages of some sort. You really fucking must.
The decent people often wonder who emits this
Much annoying squeaking noise now and then?
On these otherwise much exciting pages
Well, now we know:
This yap is emanated from a certain little cunt* Amanda.
*Yes, she is quite young yet totally evolved as a total cunt already.
You know who is annoying, Ernest? You are. As well as all of your other personalities. If anyone is a cunt, it's you. This site was so much better before you started running your cunt mouth.
Au contraire. This site was so vast deal worse without Ernest. You are the cunt, Bill.
Ernest - cut the shit. Sometimes you're witty but more often than not you fuck it up by being a ridiculously retarded cockholster.
This renders Michael cunt #3.
You wouldn’t know wit from shit, you ss-minded military sleazebag with brains of a mollusk. Your every single comment is like a ripping fart disturbing for the nostrils. Desist.
Yeah, that Michael sucks a fat one on so many levels it makes the other two pale in comparison.
But the more I ponder this, Ern.. Weren’t we just a bit too harsh on that Amanda.. her being diminished responsibility and shit… what d’you reckon, bro?
You sound like Shakespeare, bro.
harsh? Naah!.. The bitch fully deservers it. She would skin you alive with a sadistic glee had she a chance. I know their little ways so well.. ‘em dem diminished articles.. Don’t worry bro..
how weird
It looks like (as of 12:24pm) a quartet of them formed.