Email to a Friend

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

In case you didn’t know, The Asians Are Coming.

Thanks to the internet there is a multi-directional flow of cultural goods around the world that threatens  America’s position as the world’s cultural neocolonialists. Across the Pacific there is a fierce battle to become the first Asian pop act to achieve crossover success in the States.  Here is your guide to those Asian popstars- they’re all cheesy, chiseled, and hilariously styled- but only one will (hopefully) be the first to crossover.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rain

Origin: Korea
Born: June 25, 1982 (1982-06-25) (age 26)
Genre: pop, R&B, hip hop
Collaborated with: Omarion, Diddy

Pop singer, dancer, model, actor, CEO and designer- Rain does it all. He’s got the sex appeal of JT and the business acumen of Diddy . Although Rain originally struggled in the Korean entertainment industry due to his “lack of double eyelids” he not only wrapped up his first film I’m a Cyborg, But That’s OK, but also became the focus of newly single Megan Fox’s libido. Oh yeah, he also sold out two shows at Madison Square Garden.

Rain’s website (w/ hilarious flash opening)

Rain on The Colbert Report

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

BoA aka Beat of Angel

Origin: Korea
Born: November 5, 1986 (1986-11-05) (age 22)
Genre: urban pop
Influences: Nelly and Janet Jackson

BoA is the Britney of Asia- she doesn’t write her own anything, but her dance moves are incredible.

The following jam is almost so amazing it hurts…  for some reason the beat and the lyrics aren’t in synch during the verse, but the chorus is smooth as butter. It’s obviously produced by the people who gave you Brit’s “Toxic”.

BoA’s Website

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hiraku Utada

Origin: Tokyo, NYC
Born: January 19, 1983 (1983-01-19) (age 26)
Genre: Japanese pop

Utada is Japanese Pop Royalty, unlike BoA she is a singer-songwriter, arranger, and record producer who wrote and recorded her first song at 12 under the name Cubic U. Unfortunately, Utada came down with peritonsillitis and is currently unable to promote her album leaving her at a disadvantage at the height of the great Asian pop wars. We know that her song and lyric writing ability doesn’t give her a leg-up….

Real lyrics: You’re easy breezy/ and I’m Japan-easy

Utada’s Website

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Se7en

Origin: Korea
Born: November 9, 1984 (1984-11-09) (age 24)
Genre: pop, r&b
Influences: Michael Jackson

Oh Se7en, you will never be as popular as Rain, and that inferiority complex has led you to stack your album with a confusing lineup of guests like  Lil’ Kim, Darkchild, and Three 6 Mafia. It’s sad that your album release keeps getting delayed- and it’s even sadder that the video for your autotune club banger “Girls” coincided with Jay-Z’s “Death of Autotune” – plus it features awkward forced sexing between you and Lil Kim while you say things like, “I’m like MJ girl/It don’t matter if you’re black or white”

Se7en’s Website

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wonder Girls

Origin: Korea

Born: ages range from 16-20.

Genre: poppy pop

While the Wonder Girls has undoubtably the best aesthetic, they also have the cheesiest music of all the Asian invaders- and that say A LOT. FYI: Wonder Girls is the Korean Danity Kane, forming on an MTV show called, what else, Wonder Girls.

Oh! Guess who is opening for the Jonas Brothers on their North American Tour?

Wonder Girls website

Watch an adorable interview with the Wonder Girls

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Best Bet for Crossover Success: BoA or Wonder Girls

BoA has the best jams and best moves but Wonder Girls are going to clean up on tour with The Jo-Bros.

THANKS ASIA!

Email to a Friend

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
•