Tonight, May 22nd 2009 @ 10pmish there is something epic going down at Comet Ping Pong:
All ages and $8
We had an interview with Ear Pwr, but it was destroyed in a tragic hiking accident, so instead we bring you the members of Exactly giving you there A to Z's of DC Love. Which is just as good, if not better.
A Awesome babes: DC is full of awesome babes.
B Boyfriends: Please leave your boyfriends at home when you come to an exactly show.
C Comet: Where else can you get a pizza pie with a whole softshell crab laid on top, daring you to eat him? Where else has a bathroom with a rococo mural of a bucolic pasture with frolicking naked pingpong pizza-swilling ribalds? Best pizza, best staff, best venue in DC right now.
D Durkl: watch out for their fantasy factory, making dreams come since 2047.
E Elbow Drop: The greatest hardcore band in DC history. Do your google homework.
F Fake blood: or is it?
G Gold Leaf: Former auto body shop, former home of DC institutions Trans Am, former party cave, former coolest venue in DC, current non-venue practice space and spiritual home to DC's finest music.
H Party House: Briefly home to an esteemed member of Exactly, this Columbia Avenue shambles house has been host to enough masquerade orgies to cement it's reputation as a party spot non-pariel. How the hell do you think it got the name Party House? The neighbors have threatened to throw acid on its denizens on multiple occasions.
I Ian Svenonius: We don't know who this guy is, but he has the coolest hair in DC.
J June: The best month of the year in DC. Mosquitoes are not out yet, but babes' legs are.
K Kansas House: DC needs more fucking basement shows. Everyone with a basement needs to get on their level.
L Christmas Lights: The best possible lighting that doesn't cost thousands of dollars. We are in Xmas light environments 95% of the time, and the other 5%, we are complaining about the lighting.
M Mangialardo's: This place loads more meat on a sub than you can eat in six months. Just like Exactly.
N New Big Wong: We eat there after every show, and the tab is never over $20. It's like an old testament miracle every time.
O 52 O Street: DC's best artists under one roof: Lisa Marie Thalhammer, Stevens Jay Carter and a hot tar roof your feet will stick to. City Styles lived here once upon a time, and as an art project, allowed strangers to pluck his entire beard with tweezers. True story dude!
P Pool: The pool at Cream Soda's house is the number one best place to spend a Sunday afternoon. Do not ever miss an opportunity to come to this pool. (don't forget about BYT's new pool too -ed)
Q Qdoba's: The only DC fine dining restaurant to receive 2 Michelin stars, City Styles recommends the coy amuse-bouche. Or the nachos.
R Rooftops: Your stoner friends say that everything is better on weed. We say that everything's better on a roof. Summertime in DC isn't summer without drinking beers on your roof until 4AM on a Tuesday.
S Safeway: Even Exactly needs to eat, and when not feasting on human flesh, we get fajita ingredients from the 5th and K Safeway.
T Transsexual Hookers: The intersection of 5th and K is loaded with our friends, tranny hookers. The only people in DC that one-up Exactly sexually.
U The Uptown theater: Exactly loves this place because they let us into R-rated movies.
V Velvet Lounge: Exactly has played Velvet more times than anywhere else, and will continue to do so. This place books the coolest shows on a regular basis AND Pauly Shore is the one doing the booking.
W Will Sharp: Mr. Sharp holds the record for most Exactly shows attended. 100%. Why do you think he's dating the chronic-est babe in DC? It's not a coincidence.
X Thai Xing: You will eat in the basement of a house. You will be elbow to elbow with everyone else in the place. You will wait 2 hours for food. You will have the best Thai food you've ever had and your date will think you're cool even though you're probably not.
Y Yum's: Exactly has eaten here before every show at Velvet, despite the food being the worst in the world. Actually, the philly egg roll is amazing, and they have posters for "pizza". Not a specific brand or kind of pizza, but the abstract concept of pizza. You know you want it.
Z Zebra Room (RIP): Used to serve Cream Soda beers when he was underage. No idea why it isn't there anymore.
Want more?
EXACTLY does the National Cheerleading Championships
BOOBies!?!?!? (Exactly.) (N. EXACTLY S.F.W.)
Previously in I Heart DC:
- 5/24: DC NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/23: DC News You Can (Maybe) Use
- 5/23: BYT Patio and Outdoor Dining Guide - Spring/Summer 2012
- 5/22: DC NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/21: DC News You Can (Maybe) Use
- 5/21: PHOTOS: Artomatic 2012 Opening
- 5/18: DC NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/17: DC News You Can (Maybe) Use
- 5/16: D.C. NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/16: Photos: Dance In The Circle @ Dupont Circle
God loves a cheerful giver.
this band makes me want to HUMP!
I'm a sidecar tranny and these boys make me want to play ping pong with quick flips of the wrist
Rose, you are a true poet.
i couldn't love that graphic more
"Exactly loads on more meat than you could eat in a month."
true.
exactly never taxes my gig hardcore, and always brings the nuggs with the major cones.
ooowwwooohohhhhh buuuuddy.
(on a serious note. the story of pauly shore is a parable that tragically implicates the problem of celebrity built upon a finite youthfulness; for once this weasel cut his crusty mop on top, the spirit of the child was consumed by a black bog of ever saddening adulthood. never cut your crusty mops, exactly)
*Door charge is $8 not $10!!
that's what Comet Ping Pong site said this morn - I'll fix it
yo one of those dudes is a mac genius in bethesda, right?
I say next time they go to an elementary school!
Jesse really does date high school girls...
So this post kind of loses the "funny" quality, and just becomes kind of you know "INAPPROPIATE".
Ay yi yi!
One of you should've changed B to bukkake. Its a word that gets thrown around a lot here...and with Exactly, the music serves a lot of that to the first-time audience. Kudos on Qdoba!