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Colonel K's Valentine's Day Mix

By Patrick February 10, 2010 | 12:05 pm
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Before I present you with this Valentine’s Day Mixtape, I’d like to take the time to expose the organizers of the Washington DC Record Fair as relationship saboteurs of the highest order. By scheduling the record fair for February 14th, these dastardly devils are threatening to shatter the perilous peace that exists between record nerds and their significant others. Money that should’ve been set aside for candy, flowers and an expensive dinner will instead be spent on a VG+ first edition pressing of PIL’s “Metal Box.” And the prospects of an all night freak-a-thon will be pushed aside by reflections on Geologist’s witty comment about the cover of Amon Duul II’s “Yeti.”

OK, I’m not here to put the DC Record Fair on blast. In fact, I whole-heartedly support their decision to schedule the record fair on February 14th. I think it’ll be a great opportunity for couples to learn about each other’s taste in music. It’s a lot easier to go digging in the crates with two pairs of hands instead of one!

1. Pulp "F.E.E.L.I.N.G. C.A.L.L.E.D. L.O.V.E"
Ahh, Jarvis Cocker. A gangly, myopic and pasty Englishman who, through sheer will and determination became the coolest man on earth in the mid 1990s. And when he wasn’t rapping the knuckles of the upper class with songs like “Common People,” he was writing about the dark and twisted side of love and sex. I always thought that this song contained the best example of Jarvis’ use of a dirty old man’s whisper for the verses and a loud, over the top hook for the chorus.

2. Echo and the Bunnymen “Lips Like Sugar”
The key to the Bunnymen’s sexiness lies not in Ian McCulloch’s voice, but in Will Sergeant’s guitar playing. Sergeant could always be trusted to dial up the best tones, play the most beautiful chord progressions and even make the occasional funky noise (e.g “Zimbo”). I’m not even sure if this counts as a love song. But Sergeant’s guitar playing really does conjure up thoughts of a long and passionate kiss.

3. Beach House “Norway”
I normally don’t buy into the hype that surrounds the first big record of the year, but I was HOOKED when heard this song. I decided to include “Norway” because it has all the trademarks of a make-out classic: breathy background vocals, droning keyboards and sparkling guitar tone. (Not jangly as some ill-informed, non-guitar playing critics have mistakenly described it).

4. Blur “You’re So Great”
Depression, insomnia, addiction. These are just some of the things that can disturb the stability of a relationship. Blur guitarist Graham Coxon was struggling with alcoholism and the blinding glare of the media spotlight when he penned this number for 1997’s eponymous album. The refrain is simple, “You’re so great, and I love you,” but poignant. A reminder that even in your darkest moments, a few kind words to your partner can mean a lot.

5. McCarthy “Boy Meets Girl So What”
I didn’t choose this song for it’s anti-romantic stance. I chose it because its long and drawn out introduction is the perfect catalyst for that awkward silence that often leads to a first kiss. Speaking of McCarthy, now that Stereolab have called it a day, maybe Tim Gane will dust off his Rickenbacker twelve-string and get his old band back together. I’m sure they could use the money.

6. Romeo Void “Never Say Never”
“I might like you better if we slept together.
There’s something in your eyes that says maybe…
Never. Never say NEVER.”

Sex becomes that much more interesting when you remove the bullshit mating dance that we all learned in middle school. No song encapsulates forwardness more than this new-wave gem. It’s a shame that this song doesn’t get more rotation at indie discos and 80s dance nights.

7. The Pale Fountains “Thank You”
This Burt Bacharach influenced schmaltz-fest crashed the UK top 50 in late 1982. Over the years, I’ve developed a real soft spot for this song. Why this hasn’t been played at a wedding or licensed for a greeting card commercial, I have no idea.

8. Aztec Camera “We Could Send Letters”
Sure, the lyrics to this early gem by Roddy Frame are quasi-tragic. But the chorus is so uplifting and beautiful that it makes you forget about the sad and doubtful nature of the verses.

9. Sade “Your Love is King”
It’s a bit odd that Sade wrote a song that likens love to a regal entity. Love being king (or queen) implies a sense of control and a predetermined order of succession. In my experience, however, the arrival of love has been more akin to a coup d'état by a military junta – one day your life is totally normal and next thing you know alarms have been sounded and a stage of emergency has been declared. Political semantics aside, this song is a classic.
PS Fuck Pitchfork for getting on the Sade train so late. Y’all must not’ve had cool uncles who tried to give you advice on how to be a “G.”

10. Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin “69 (année érotique)”
I can no longer listen to “Je T’aime (Moi Non Plus)” after hearing Cat Power and Karen Elson’s dreadful English language version that was released on a tribute a few years ago. Thankfully, Monsieur’ Gainsbourg’s back catalog is filled with bawdy numbers like this one. Gotta love a man who had the balls to tell Whitney Houston that he wanted to fuck her on live television.
PS For those of you who slept through French class, the English title of this song is “69 (erotic year).”

11. The Jesus and Mary Chain “Almost Gold”
If you told someone that their kiss was “almost gold” during an economic boom, they’d probably slap you and ask why their kisses weren’t good enough to be gold. Ahhh! But say the same thing during a recession where people are investing their savings in a certain precious metal and you’ll find yourself in smooch city.

12. Souls of Mischief “Step to My Girl”
Based around a sample of Grover Washington Jr.'s “Heather,” A-Plus, Opio and company warn jealous haters to keep away from their ladies. Notice how the aggressiveness of the lyrics acts as a wonderful foil to the hissy, laid-back groove. Yea, there’s a reason why people look back at the early 90s as the golden age of hip-hop

13. Franz Ferdinand “The Dark Of The Matinée”
While living in France, I had a concert buddy called Florence. She wore thick horn rim glasses, had very pale skin and hated pretty much everything except for British indie music and American junk food. In November 2003, she sent me an email raving about “this new amazing band from Glasgow. They’re called Franz Ferdinand.” When I heard “Dark of the Matinee,” it made me think of her spouting hate to a bemused suitor in a café in Paris.

14. Silk “Freak Me”
Every cliché of early 90s R&B rolled into one perfect slow jam.

Download the entire mix as a zip file HERE.

Previously in Downloads:

God loves a cheerful giver.

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God loves a cheerful giver.-- 2 Corinthians 9:7

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