The New Stuff
Last week we got word about Spider Kelly’s in Clarendon. Anthony from Apples and Bananas got a good look last week and the chicken burger is getting raves.
Washingtonian gives a first look at Redwood, set to open next week in Bethesda Row. The owners are known for Mendocino and Sonoma and seem to be continuing their commitment to good food and wine. The bison marrow bones and biscuits with Smithfield ham gravy and jalapeno jelly sound right up my alley.
UPDATE: Looks like Merkado is closing on August 24th. All wine is on-sale for 75% off until then. The restaurant will be replaced by a mixed-use type of place called Commissary.
Like espresso on ice? How about a punch in the dick!
On Sunday, blogger Jeff Simmermon went to Murky Coffee and ordered a triple espresso on ice. Murky refused as it went against store policy. He ordered a triple espresso (hot) with a cup of ice and left a tip with some choice words scrawled on it. A blog post followed about a can of kerosene and some matches.
The response from the owner of Murky? “…if you ever show your face at my shop, I’ll punch you in your dick.”
Consumerist recaps this nicely. Coffee anyone?
Banning the good stuff
It seems Takoma Park is saving the world one water fowl at a time. A recent resolution has passed banning the production and sale of foie gras in their fine city. This is a radical choice in a city where foie gras appears on no restaurant menus and is not produced within city limits.
Call me when they decide to ban the feeding of hormone-pumped meat, ground up by underpaid illegal immigrants and fed to children.
Absinthe in D.C.
We’ll ignore the fact that Central’s absinthe tasting didn’t make it into the Bastille Day round-up and focus more on the fact that Johnny’s Half Shell is now serving absinthe.
Murky coffee’s rules aside, Simmermon pulled a bitch move.
July 16, 2008 at 11:55 am$20 for a 2 oz pour? Fuck I serve only the best Absinthe at my place - I’m going to start charging. Shit’s shipped directly from Francais.
Remember, people - you don’t go fucking it up like you did with the Martini, and it’s 1 part Absinthe to 5 parts water. And the water dribbles over the sugar cube, not poured. It’s meant to take time.
July 16, 2008 at 12:09 pmMichael - I have a nice bottle of Absinthe but am not sure on the proper methodology, can you explain in a little more detail, thanks.
July 16, 2008 at 12:13 pmMy corner store has a giant bottle of absinthe behind the bulletproof glass window and the single-sale cigars. I’m confused, and then realize I have no point of reference on good absinthe.
July 16, 2008 at 12:49 pmi shoot it
July 16, 2008 at 12:59 pmAlex - first I’d try to determine if it is real Absinthe or just being marketed as Absinthe. After the ban in France a similor liquor was distributed, which is where we got pastis and ouzo.
In the US you could sell Absente which does not contain wormwood.
Now US has relaxed restrictions even further but note: You still do not have thujone in the bottles that are legal for sale in the U.S. You can only get thujone in your Absinthe if you order it (illegally, mind you) overseas. You can get it in France, Spain and Portugal.
Why do you need thujone? A: You don’t really, unless you want to drink Absinthe as it was intended but apart from that the Thujone in Absinthe that was suppossedly to cause hallucinations etc, which led to the bad, doesn’t do anything of the sort. Any hallucinations were simply a result of drinking too much.
The real stuff is 75% alcohol, which is why you mix it 1/5 with water.
More than you could ever want to know: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absinthe
As far as preparing absinthe, the fountain is nice, but not everyone has access to a drip fountain. You can use a glass, but something with a lip so you can pour it is better as you want to maintain a drip a small pitcher is perfect. Load it with ice cubes.
Put 1/5 of the amount of absinthe you wish to drink in a glass (doesn’t have to be an absinthe glass). Place a slotted spoon over top of the glass and set a sugar cube in the center. Now carefully and slowly drip ice cold pure water (5 parts) over the sugar cube. Continue until the cube is gone and you’re out of water.
With real Absinthe you will experience a cloudy drink - the louche effect, this is due to the herbs, primarily anise and fennel.
Now you sip your drink. It’s meant to be enjoyed over a long expanse of time, not drunk like douches at a frat party, nor even how one downs a pint drink at the Cat. You wish to experience the effect of the herbs as well as the intoxication of the alcohol. It’s a drink for gatherings and discussions, not dance parties.
Another good page on how to prepare it: http://www.wikihow.com/Drink-Absinthe
July 16, 2008 at 1:15 pmIf I had a bottle of absinthe, I would make myself a Sazerac. Then I’d make myself about three more.
July 16, 2008 at 1:18 pmbut seriously, michael, tell us what the best shit is and explain the process if you will… i am genuinely curious (and my veins are shrinking).
July 16, 2008 at 1:26 pmAny recommendations on what is availbale in the US?
My absinthe experiences are limited to Burning Man years ago. It was homemade by a woman calling herself Absynthia. I drank some, laughed, fell down and went to bed.
July 16, 2008 at 1:34 pmdisregard - comment delay
July 16, 2008 at 1:51 pmAlex - i really don’t know what’s offered in the US. I do know that it has to have almost zero thujone, even the stuff they’re marketing as “real” absinthe - which, technically it is, it just has has the thujone processed out.
These all appear to be the real deal: http://www.absintheonline.com/
Do your research - it’s just like purchasing a bottle of wine - they’re tested and rated by people who know absinthe.
The most important thing to remember is that it’s a ritual - I know how loathe people are for rituals these days (shaving thread, anyone?) but it’s the very point of absinthe. It’s not something you dispense into plastic cups and dance around to Le Tigre on. Throw on some Ravel’s Bolero, Edith Piaf, Gus Viseur, Louis Richardet, or Les Freres Colombo Du Bal Tabarin and have a theme party discussing Proust, or, hell, Hemingway.
July 16, 2008 at 2:26 pmI know they are carrying real honest-to-goodness wormwood-laced absinthe (Lucid is the brand) at PS-7… where they also happen to make a hell of a Sazerac.
According to the bar manager there, it is only available commercially, so procuring your own may be a challenge.
July 16, 2008 at 2:27 pmLucid is made with grande wormwood, not southern wormwood and contains thujone as low enough levels to meet US speficications. Their site claims that the thujone levels are comparable to pre-ban absinthes, which, while true, also means that it is not comparable to other pre-ban absinthes (got to love marketing people).
Does it matter? A: No, it doesn’t. It is seemingly the real deal. Absinthe, as with wine, is subject to your own personal tastes - you may like one offering and dislike another depending on the herb concentration and distillation method of the different manufacturers.
So get out there and start drinking and tasting.
July 16, 2008 at 2:37 pmSince the above is unclear, you don’t want absinthe made with southern wormwood. It’s not the same as the other stuff. It’s the difference in a Chateaux Margeaux and Night Train.
July 16, 2008 at 2:44 pmjust to back it up a bit (although I am /thoroughly/ intrigued by this absinthe discussion, and can only hope someone introduces me to absinthe some day — and also, for the record, nobody killed the martini for /me/ anyway: I insist on telling everyone whenever I order a martini: it’s 3 parts gin, 1 part vermouth, olives. Sub onions for olives, it’s a Gibson. Use vodka for gin and it’s a vodka martini (i.e. not “a martini”). Add olive juice, it’s a dirty martini. Anything else with “-tini” is just a cocktail trying not to sound so girly])…
…I would like to say I completely agree with Murky. They’ll do all right, perhaps even better, without the business of the fucks-with-their-coffee crowd. Give me an espresso most days. Once in a while a (caffe-e-)latte. But don’t try to drown it in caramel and ice, that’s like… well… the various aforementioned “-tini” drinks… Murky’s coffee is too good to waste by fucking with it.
July 16, 2008 at 10:59 pmAl I agree with all you’ve stated. I miss the Murky on the Hill as I’d have cappuccino there on Fridays and blow off the mornings at work.
Also: I don’t understand people who stand at the counter fucking with their coffee adding more milk or cream, then sugar, then stirring it, then tasting it, then adjusting. Is it your first cup? How do you not know how you like your coffee by now? How is it not an automatic thing for you? I put a bit of cream, close the top - no stupid stir stick for me because the milk dissipates through the water as you walk.
People are dumb. And I hope that guy does get punched in the tallywhacker.
July 16, 2008 at 11:58 pmUm, I think I’m siding with the customer here. Murky can have these policies all they want, but if they don’t explain to the customer why and just refuse to give them what they want, and not offer their other iced bev as an alternative, I’d think they were just being retarded too. And then the really not ok comment didn’t make sense, the guy wasn’t abusing the system by making a ghetto latte, so why was he doing something wrong?
July 17, 2008 at 7:58 ammichael - kind of off topic…but, slightly related….
remember the “mr. poopy pants” absinthe and brenniven related incident at william’s after party about 6 years ago? that could be an example of how not to drink absinthe….priceless. you, however, were a prince.
July 17, 2008 at 12:35 pmVR - yes I do. Distinctly. I even remember his name. Damn that was a good looking dude (not in a gay way of course) but seriously - good looking dude.
And to dookie in his pants - no class.
July 17, 2008 at 12:49 pmi know his name too….mr. poopy pants.
seriously, hottest guy ever with that name.
my favorite part is that his girlfriend (probably not for much longer after this) stayed at the party after he was “escorted” out…
July 17, 2008 at 2:54 pmthe problem was alcohol abuse of a suddenly-available, widely-bootlegged liquor, not wormwood. if you’ve got sage in your spice rack, you have more thujone than michael has in his “authentic” absinthe. every hear of someone having hallucinations from cornish hen with sage? and as far as its deleterious effects, consider that much of it was bottled at 144 proof and probably not properly diluted…substitute “gin” for “absinthe” and we had a similar problem in the states, leading to the 18th amendment.
July 29, 2008 at 2:47 pmWm is right and agrees with me “Why do you need thujone? A: You don’t really, unless you want to drink Absinthe as it was intended but apart from that the Thujone in Absinthe that was suppossedly to cause hallucinations etc, which led to the bad, doesn’t do anything of the sort. Any hallucinations were simply a result of drinking too much.”
The problem was it became insanely popular and unscrupulous persons started making “absinthe” in their bathrooms to sell- like bathtub gin, or meth, and it was the rat poison and whatever else they’d mix in there to bulk it up that was offing motherfuckers.
July 29, 2008 at 3:06 pm
As a former four year barista, and total coffee snob, I would like to get in the dick punching line, and I’m bringing a whole other bag of dicks for this cock to eat…………
July 16, 2008 at 11:38 am