No, this isn’t a column about Cale. How dare you even think that.
But the whole of DC seems to be neck deep in the throes of Larry Craig Bathroom Sexytime Arrest.
I think Wonkette has basically been living off the Craig puns for the last 3 days.
So, we offer a chronological digest:
George Michael he is not, but this isn’t West Hollywood either (and not even for ugly people)
Monday, August 27th
Roll Call :Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men’s public restroom, according to an arrest report obtained by Roll Call Monday afternoon.
Craig’s arrest occurred just after noon on June 11 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. On Aug. 8, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in the Hennepin County District Court. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He also was given one year of probation with the court that began on Aug. 8.
A spokesman for Craig described the incident as a “he said/he said misunderstanding,” and said the office would release a fuller statement later Monday afternoon.
Wonkette: via Idaho Values Alliance: Just below a happy photo of the latest Republican politician to be caught hitting up dudes in the public restrooms, there’s a fun post about the gay danger lurking within our nation’s toilet stalls — specifically in the airport restrooms, which of course is where Republican Senator Craig was arrested for soliciting gay sex:
One of the tragic characteristics of the homosexual lifestyle is its emphasis on anonymous sex and multiple sexual partners. It is a little-acknowledged secret that many active homosexuals will have more than 1,000 sex partners over the course of a lifetime (the average among heterosexuals is seven — still six more than we were designed for). This sordid fact of homosexual life surfaced yesterday in an AP article yesterday that reports on the number of arrests police have made for indecent exposure and public sex acts in the restrooms at Atlanta’s airport, the busiest in the world. The increased restroom patrols, begun to apprehend luggage thieves, instead uncovered a rash of sex crimes. Airport restrooms have become so popular that men looking for anonymous sexual trysts with other men have advertised their airport availability on Craigslist. One such ad was from a man saying he was stuck at the airport for three hours and was looking for “discreet, quick action.” (AP: Arrests Up in Atlanta Airport Restrooms)
Tuesday, August 28th
Washington Post gets their hands on the story. Sadly this is during the “Reliable source” ladies are on vacation. As Pareene says:
# If sex with an anonymous partner in an airport bathroom is wrong, then we don’t want to be right.
Politico: Mitt Romney marks his support video FROM Larry Craig as private. If only Paris had learned that lesson.
from Jezebel: Larry Craig’s police report leaks: according to it: closet gays use roller bags and an elaborate pattern of foot taps and hand-swipes to indicate their gayness to one another.
Finally news information that should come in handy at some point.
from Wonkette via Princess Sparklepony the writing was on the wall.
from The Fed: stories of Larry’s show biz attempts emerge: INTRODUCING THE SINGING SENATORS: It is a classic story of rock and roll destiny: a promising group at the peak of their creative powers self-destructs, undone by ego, excess, or the harsh spotlight of fame. It happened to the Sex Pistols. It happened to Milli Vanilli. It happens to people of all ages, races, ethnicities, religions, genders and classes. It even happens to members of Congress.
The Singing Senators were once the most popular band of their kind in the world. They made a classic album, performed with their idols, sold out concerts and received international media exposure. They made their rock and roll dreams come true. But it was all over in a flash. The tragic story of this supergroup, which consisted of Republicans John Ashcroft (Missouri), Trent Lott (Mississippi), Larry Craig (Idaho) and Jim Jeffords (Vermont), will serve as cautionary tale to future generations of starry-eyed lawmakers. . Naturally, Wonkette is all over this
also, The Idaho Values Alliance Does Not Give Up. Even tho they should.
suddenly, last year’s videos are funny again:
from Wonkette: : pointing out the obvious: similar incident happenned last year at our very own Union Station
Chosen funny bits about the person he did it to 15 months and 15 days a go:
* He’s fast! On May 12, two days before its interview with Craig, the Statesman finally interviewed Rogers’ “best source,” the man who says he is certain he had a brief sexual encounter with Craig at Union Station, which is two blocks from Craig’s office. The man said the sex occurred in two restrooms on a weekday afternoon. He estimated the encounter lasted three or four minutes.
* He talks like Snagglepuss. To which Craig added, “Jiminy God!”
* He lives on a boat? Last fall, Craig’s neighbors at a Washington marina expressed disbelief at Rogers’ attempt to out him. Ed Johnson is an openly gay man, former local elected official and has been an acquaintance and neighbor of Craig’s off and on for 15 years. He is president of the Gangplank Slipholders Association, a neighbor to the smaller Capital Yacht Club, where Craig lives.
Wednesday, August 29th
Washington Post : Larry Craig STILL denying his gayness. And when we say STILL, we mean he’s been up to it for a while now.
YouTube never lies:
even DCist gets in on the game posting this charming Tucker Carlson rant about saving yourself from the gay bathrooms. Maybe Tucker is secretly a Idaho Values Alliance charter member in DC?
He also thinks beating up gays is awesome
via Wonkette inevitably fearing the wrath of Tucker Carlson’s gay beatings Larry Craig STILL DENIES gayness and turns to a freakish strategy consisting of pleading guilty to trying to fuck a cop in a Minneapolis public bathroom stall and then, weeks later, telling teevee cameras in Idaho that it’s all the fault of the local newspaper, which hadn’t yet run an article about him being a toilet cruiser, and then he says the plea was a “poor decision.”
in other news, if you google image search the word “gay” (as one does) this is the third photo that comes up:
Well done, Boston Globe! Maybe blogs/news sources can reach hands across America and make it #1 gay image in the country?
Just maybe.
aren’t there wars, and people dying and actual important decisions being made in the world this week? (not that we would know, all we care about is hipsterya, after all)
and tomorrow is a whole new day!
whoooooooo’s excited?
in the meantime, Cale made this for you:
Larry Craig of the Senate elected,
August 29, 2007 at 8:44 pmFrom a public poop stall was ejected,
He stomped and he tapped,
he should have just crapped,
For he by a cop was detected.