Normally, I’d write about this tomorrow, but since this event may require some prep work (ie: shaving your legs, unpacking your summer wardrobe, shaving your legs…) I decided to talk about it today.
Here is the deal:
So, a few weeks a go I ran into Will DURKL and he spent 25 minutes telling me about how he and Gavin of Nouveau Riche were going to throw a party called “shorts” (all lowercase, and no exclamation point because it was supposed to be understated). I sort of thought it was a joke.
of course its not, its taking place on Tomorrow, March 13th at Asylum,
and my favorite part of the invite is:
Acceptable varieties of shorts:
UMBRO | KHAKI | OP | BOOTY | JEAN | RUNNING | PLEATED | MESH | SPANDEX | BOY | CARGO | GOLF | BERMUDA | BOARD | SHORT | BOXER | CUT-OFF | GYM | BIKER | JNCO
Unacceptable (you will be kicked out):
PANTS | CAPRIS | SKIRTS | SKORTS | DRESSES | SHORTS WITH TIGHTS
No Shorts No Service
its free
and
they obviously mean business.
I mean, they made us a little (short) song to post
listen/download/listen while your download:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/88341137a11781/
be there.
For additional research we recommend
-reading this: article right here
-and looking at this inspirational picture A LOT:
Deliciously so. I will only be there if it’s like 30 degrees outside.
March 12, 2008 at 3:49 pmmore recommended reading for this dumb party:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shorts
March 12, 2008 at 3:58 pmI’ll make sure my wiener hangs out
March 12, 2008 at 4:06 pmwhat about Jams?
Jams are fine
been getting a lot of questions from girls…
rompers: great!
shorts with tights underneath: NO. NO, NO, NO. NO!
we are really not joking about the dress code people. i don’t care if American Apparel thinks that shorts with tights is cool, because i don’t, and i won’t let you in so long as they’re on your legs.
HOWEVER– not a bad idea to walk over in tights for warmth, then remove at the door.
March 12, 2008 at 4:32 pmalso, nice flyer:
Asylum has now officially jumped the shark.
I can’t believe that they would allw this dress code policy to be enforced…
Though I guess they jumped the shark when they started that Jello wrestling BS. It used to be a cool dive bar to go and drink real drinks and sit next to people who actually had killed people.
March 12, 2008 at 5:53 pmwhile “jumping the shark” may be described as a desperate attempt to be amazing–if pulled off–it’s still, AHmazing.
ones that DON’T jump the shark likely CAN’T jump the shark.
or probably a huckleberry.
and Svet–
nice butt cheek thumbnail.
realllllllly digging it.
i do what I can for the cause.
also-still not fully understanding WHY this is meant to be either stupid or unflattering.
who doesn’t love shorts?
March 12, 2008 at 10:06 pmmichael, asylum jumped the shark when you started coming there. If you dont like asylum, dont come.
March 13, 2008 at 11:04 ami don’t love shorts in cold weather
thanks to Gavin, who was nice enough to reply that shorts with tights, i assume be they footless or knee length, will not be allowed
short on
March 13, 2008 at 1:33 pmare banana hammocks considered shorts? i sure hope so.
March 13, 2008 at 1:49 pmwow eddie, great question. while i appreciate the spirit, let’s refer and defer to wikipedia:
“Shorts are a garment worn by both men and women over their pelvic area, circling the waist, and covering the upper part of the upper legs or more”
Does a banana hammock cover the upper part of the upper leg?
By definition, I think not. I really do support the attitude, and I hate to be a stickler here, but for consistency’s sake and consistency’s sake alone, I have to say no.
March 13, 2008 at 3:11 pmlily, sorry, let me clarify here…
with tights it’s really all about the attitude.
knee-length tights, while perhaps mildly frowned upon, ARE permitted.
it follows that if you can wear knee-length tights alone, they’re permitted underneath a short.
BUT
if the tights extend to the ankles, in an attempt to hide the legs and evade the true nature of the shorts party, THAT is not allowed.
March 13, 2008 at 3:15 pmRyan, so, uh, in 1998? Ok then.
It’s not about liking or not liking asylum. I still kind of like asylum, just not on days where they have mandatory dress codes that involve shorts.
I still can’t believe they’d turn away the random customer who wants a beer but hasn’t heard about this dumb idea of a night.
That is all.
March 13, 2008 at 3:23 pmdog dirt!! looks like it will be O.p. corduroy shorts instead of a banana hammock.
March 13, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Dumb. Seriously dumb.
March 12, 2008 at 12:17 pm