Thursday

Oh hey there Macaulay Culkin, what are you doing tonight?

• Well tonight I'll be railing lines in the VIP with the hardest band in the world Rattler, as they host The Edge party @ Asylum

• Then I'll be cruising over to Tickley Feather / Toro y Moi / Future Islands @ DC9 and hit on all the bartenders.
  

• After that I'm going to tease my gay fans by dancing suggestively with them at the holiday edition of 90s dance party Peach Pit @ Dahlak.
  

• I'm going to end the night with some Vicodin and hitting the nearest Jason Priestly lookalike.

Friday

Oh hey there Andrew Keegan, what are you doing tonight?

• Well I'm going to get some holiday self-shopping done at the Holiday Goodwill trunk show @ Caramel - hopefully they have mesh tank tops (fingers crossed!)

• Then, since tripping and eating are two of my favorite activities, you can expect to find me flavor tripping @ EFN lounge (the old bebar).

Saturday

Oh hey there Jonathan Taylor Thomas, what are you doing tonight?

• Well there is a lot going on tonight so in addition to holiday parties I will be hopping around from place to place starting at The Positive Force benefit at St. Stevens Chruch featuring the Max Levine Ensemble. I like to give back.

• Then I'll be heading over to swing by the last Velodrome at Velvet Lounge to have some scotch with my friends Stewart and Lex of the Child Ballads

• Next, I'll swing by The Hotel to catch The Phenomenal Handclap band and pick up a load meth from my dealer (who is in Bop Beetle- the openers)

• Then I'm going to share all that meth with everyone at the BYT Christmas party at Jimmy Valentines with DJs Cale and Shea Van Horne. Except to see me naked as a newborn.

Sunday

Oh hey there Joshua Jackson, what are you doing tonight?

• Going to feel up my 18 year old date at the Christmas Movie festival held by the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse

• Then probably stop by Ray's Hell Burger where I'll eat like 2 cheeseburgers and not let me date consume anything but diet coke.

• Finally, I'll get blackout with John Powers at Velvet Lounge and sell them my 18 year old date.