Thursday

FYI: Today is the birthday of Aaron Baird, the worst drummer/best taco eater in the city.  It's also the birthday of Vyacheslav Molotov, the man for whom the Molotov Cocktail was named after.

To celebrate these occasions appropriately, might I recommend the following:

• Begin with civilized boozing, melody and comedy with as BYT presents the Family Hemerlein Variety Show featuring the comedy of Seaton Smith and Ben Kronberg, the music of Matthew Hemerlein and Laughing Man, and the booze of many lands @ the Arts Club of Washington.

• Cruise over to The Fridge for Call 2 Presence, a live cinema event featuring Arabic speaking cyborgs (think Choose Your Own Adenture with text messaging) .

• Then proceed to Velvet Lounge to begin a night of debauchery orchestrated by These Are Powers, Exactly, and Sick Weapons.

Friday

FYI: Today, in 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from Elba.

To celebrate the occasion appropriately, might I recommend the following:

• Look cultured and well-rounded while you feel up your date at the National Geographic's screening of the Academy Award Best Foreign Film Nominees.

• Meander to the Rock & Roll Hotel to enjoy three of the District's most promising, polished and handsome acts, U.S. Royalty, Poor But Sexy and Phil.Ade.

• Finally, cab it to The Loft for Stranger Than Paradise with Insideout. Proceed to get weird.

Saturday

FYI: Today, French luggage maker, Louis Vuitton, died in the year 1892.

To mourn this occasion appropriately, might I recommend the following:

• Say hi to my crush Deb and reflect on 40 years of lesbians in the district at Phase 1's 40th!!! Anniversary throwdown.

• Go see Crack @ Town and say hi to my other crush Summer Camp and bask in the glow reflected off the nylons of the best underground theater troop in DC.

• Bask in the union of the old school and new school while Brand Nubian and the Cornel West Theory slays it at Bohemian Cavern's  LIV.

• End your night dancing and drinking alcoholic frozen drinks in the basement of the 930 club with Ian Svenonius, Kalani, and Kid Congo for Bubble Rock.

Sunday

FYI: Today in 1993, ATF agents raid the Branch Davidian church in Waco, Texas with a warrant to arrest the group's leader David Koresh and start a 51-day standoff.

Tom remember this folly, might I recommend the following:

• Buy an amazing outfit at the Spinach Pop Up Vintage Store @ Proper Topper.

• Wear your new amazing outfit to the National Gallery of Art Ice Skating Rink.