Hi! Who’s ready for a 3 day weekend? Thought so.
The world barely makes sense any more what with Jeff Goldblum being dead and alive at the same time, Kevin Jonas being engaged to a woman with bigger hoops that should be legal outside of New Jersey and Transformers 2 still somehow making money at the box office.
But that’s why you have us, to lead you through this madness.
Today, as is customary we pay homage to a movie.
A little seen gem from 1995 made by the still-not-ridiculously-famous Judd Appatow called “Heavyweights” about a motley crew (is there any other kind?) of pudgy kids held captive by a maniacal fitness instructor (BEN STILLER!) at a “posh” fat camp. Its what oreo dreams are made off.
OK-so-lets go, even if begrudgingly
Mrs. Garner: Gerry!
Roger Johnson: Now that’s not kind, Gerry.
Maury Garner: We’re doing this for your own good. We gatta nip this thing in the bud.
Gerry: I’m fine. This is a joke right? You’re fatter than I am why don’t you go to fat camp.
Mrs. Garner: You show your father some respect.
Maury Garner: First I think we should have a little pow-wow, and then we will call you with our decision.
Gerry: I’ll give you my decision right now. I’m not going.
THURSDAY
To get ready for Fat Camp on Saturday we suggest you attend the Z Burger eating contest.
Gross.
Fun.
Grossly fun.
Then-there is a free food/booze fiesta @ Commonwealth, catch Caddyshack under the stars, check out some local bands @ State theatre and then go and have yourself a fun gay time either @ DC9 or TOWN.
k?
K.
Nicholas: [gets a sour look on his face] Ugh.
FRIDAY
YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORK TODAY.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Use this opportunity to catch some movies, ride your bike around this fair city, check out the Eggleston exhibit @ Corcoran, take inordinate amounts of naps and make your interns make you pig shaped cupcakes.
At night-there is a lot of funtime dance parties, AND I know most of these you’re already aware off as they happen with some regularity, but lets run down what’s up:
-Disco City is at RNR Hotel
-Blisspop is at 930 Club
-Neil and Daryle Rock the Liberty bells @ Velvet
-Moneytown celebrates 1 year of keeping things afro and funky at Dahlak
-LODA is doing a pre-bbq at Gallery
and
-Velodrome and We Fought The Big one come together as one @ Marx Cafe
phew.
Josh: Forty push-ups?
Tony Perkis: No! Sixty! Down! Now! Eighty! One hundred!
Maury Garner: He’s strict.
SATURDAY
GOOD BLESS AMERICA AND FAT CAMP.
come early to the pool and get a good seat.
that’s all.
then-fireworks and things. you know the drill.
SUNDAY
Jay Reatard is in town.
The end.
OK-your turn now.
take over the comments.
you know you want to.
Cale didn’t know this movie existed…Heavyweights is great!
July 3, 2009 at 10:03 amI’m pretty sure I’m too old to know about this movie. Judging from those clips though – I don’t think I’m missing anything.
July 3, 2009 at 10:28 amreally the best part is Ben Stiller as Tony Perkis … the character whose exact personality and nuances he reprises in Dodge Ball
July 3, 2009 at 6:55 pm
oh man, reviewing the IMDB quotes page for this cinematic masterpiece really takes me back
Tony Perkis: Did you ever hear the story of Icarus, who continually rolled the ball up the hill? But when he got too close, the ball melted in the heat of the Sun. You’re all like Icarus.
July 2, 2009 at 3:13 pm