Brightest Young Things

by: Philippe Chetrit

SILF would like to give its first honorable mention to Paula "just add butter" Deen, a beautiful woman with an amazing sense around the kitchen.

There is something so sexy about southern woman who likes to wrap everything in bacon. What I would give to get between two pieces of challah toast with Paula Deen, her doughy curves, her sent of syrup and upright hair do. I wanna be so close, I can feel the butter running through her arteries, like a river of clots being surfed by sausages. While wrapped in mayonnaise sheets, I would whisper in her ear, using only my breath "russian dressing". She would giggle as she does. As we embraced and explored the nooks and crannies of our English Muffins, she would be coy and tender and tell me all about deep frying hams, sprinkling them with donuts then wrapping them in bacon. Every time the word butter would leave her lips, the air would get denser and I would pull her in tighter. We would roll around for hours as if we were tenders in a bowl of breading.

Once we've worked up an appetite, I would have her get back to the kitchen and whip me up a Lasagna Sandwich.

I've always thought there needed to be a course between dinner and desert, so then I would have her make me these. She is game.

And once I was good and fed, I would go beat the shit out of this guys for hurting my lady.

Paula, I love you.

(BONUS READING: Our interview with Paula, hugs included)

Previously in SILF:

• 5/14: SILF: (Ice-Cream) SANDWICH I'D LIKE TO F*CK
• 12/7: SILF: Sandwich I'd Like to F*ck
• 8/31: BILB: Burger I'd Like To Bang
• 8/9: SILF: Sandwich I'd Like to F*ck
• 6/9: BILB: Burger I'd Like To Bang
• 5/26: SILF: Sandwich I'd Like to F*ck
• 4/14: BILB: Burger I'd Like To Bang...
• 3/16: SILF: Reporting from Banh Mi Throwdown @ Ba Bay
• 1/3: SILF: Sandwich I'd Like to F*ck
• 12/20: SILF: Sandwich I'd Like To F*CK