Do you like Pork? Do you hate Moby? We do. Check this out: COCHON 555 WASHINGTON DC: Five Chefs, Five Pigs, Five Winemakers. Pork Olympics. Porkgy. Pork fantasy, if you will. You finally get your chance to tell Moby what you think of his stupid new book. Talk with your stomachs, kids.
How many pigs, you ask? FIVE pigs. Count them. One, Two, Three, Four, Five PIGS. Each at a hundred and forty pounds. And this event is at the Newseum's Knights Center, so it aint no joke.
Check out the sheer magic of what this event was last year here:
You can get tickets online for $125 a pop (details here) but we've got a pair of general admission tickets for one lucky reader who comes up with a bitchin' Haiku/Limerick/Poem/Aphorism about pork or pig or hog or boar. We asked Bentzen Ball comedian Justin Cousson to get the Haiku-party started. Here's his haiku:
Forbidden to some
non-Kosher and non-Rasta
but those who dare, win."
So yeah, post a pork-related haiku in the comments section and you might find yourself in Hog Heaven this Sunday night! WINNERS WILL BE NOTIFIED BY 9AM THURSDAY MORNING! Get busy!
Previously in Giveaway:
- 5/22: Ticket Giveaway: Bachelorette @ Studio Theatre
- 5/21: Ticket Giveaway: Yann Tiersen @ 930 Club
- 5/18: TICKET GIVEAWAY: BYT PRESENTS: ZOU BISOU BISOU @ MAISON FRANCAISE
- 5/17: Ticket Giveaway: The Adicts @ RNR Hotel
- 5/17: "Win Before You Can Buy" Giveaway: Hot Chip + Sleigh Bells + James Murphy @ Merriweather
- 5/17: "Win Before You Cam Buy" Giveaway: Metric @ Strathmore
- 5/16: Movie Ticket Giveaway: For Greater Glory
- 5/16: Ticket Giveaway/Get Pumped for Reggie Watts @ 9:30 Club
- 5/16: Win Before You Can Buy: Nicki Minaj @ DAR Constitution Hall
- 5/16: Foodie Giveaway: Soundbites 2012 (is THIS WEEKEND)
God loves a cheerful giver.
Guilt, but no secret:
Adding bacon improves all.
Fat content be damned.
Bacon, Bacon, Pork
Bacon, Bacon, Bacon, Pork
Bacon, Bacon, Pork
Cannibalicious.
Reincarnated a pig,
I'd sure eat me.
bacon beckons thee
hung o'er and hungry to
each sundays dawn light
Loping gracefully,
Tasty swine heading my way:
Won't know what hit it.
(then again I'm probably disqualified)
Juicy pork belly
Bacon and sausage galore
Fuck some Lipitor.
Oh silly porker,
I will eat your tongue-n-cheek,
and feet and rear. Nom!
Variation on Elizabeth Barrett Browning, by Joe L. and Jessah
----------------
How do I love thee? I love thee five ways.
I love thee for your meat both dark and white
My soul soars high, when roasting pig all night
For pork and fire do put me in a daze.
I love thee over coals by Jamie Leeds
Or basted under Bryan's fiery light
I love thee freely, as chefs salt just right
I love thee purely...please babe feed my needs.
I love thee with the passion for the juice
In pigs cooked slowly over Sobel's flame.
I love thee with hunger I thought I'd lose
Until I smelt King's beast that flame did tame.
Smiles, tears, now Drewno's swine evokes big oohs,
I'd only love thee better cooked six ways.
Pork is quite yummy
In my ecstatic tummy
GIVE ME SOME PORK PLEASE
I am on a drug.
It's called PORK
It's available at Cochon 555. If I try this event once, I think might die.
My face could melt off and your children will weep over the leftover cracklins.
Most tendre vittles
be it belly or knuckle
washed with love. skin on.
When you sing Moby,
a pig commits suicide,
and jumps in my mouth.
Open wide, Moby:
Stick a pork in it, you're done!
And so's your career.
This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went to Cochon 555-DC to be eaten by ME
bacon and a beer can
somebody bring me some ham
porky worky do
I like little dogs
Talking animals not much
Babe in my belly
Bacon for breakfast
Pied de cochon for dinner
Pork Belly in mine!
A taste so divine
That it could only be swine
Please make that pork mine
roasted suckling pig
crispy skin and juicy pork
best part is the face
There once was a pig from Nantucket.
He would drink whiskey and scotch by the bucket.
He smoked weed everyday so suffice it to say, if this pig was a cock, I would suck it.
Was born so Jewish
The chosen people? Think not
No bacon, no point.
You are all way off
The point isn't the bacon
It's Moby's baldness
Cochon 5-5-5
is my Quinceañera
with pork piñatas
Get on my fork.
You, pork.
I'd even use a spork.
winner has been notified. check yo email.
169934 @Svetlana: and it was a tough decision - good effort readers!
If anyone wants to witness me eating myself into a coma at Cochon 555 today in DC, follow my live tweets @samsgoodmeats.
I also wrote a series on the event and the competing chefs at www.hypervocal.com/samsgoodmeats.