all photos: Jeff Martin
Let's face it, now that all the white people are moving back into the city, the suburbs are WHERE IT'S AT. With rising rent prices it's becoming harder to find those old-time true blue collar dive bars and ethnic restaurants with good food and beverage at a reasonable price.
Will Sharp of DURKL and DJ Chris Burns, of Maryland's Kensington and Silver Spring neighborhoods, took BYT to the mean streets of Silver Spring and Wheaton to experience what we've been missing inside the District line.
On the way we crushed mini beers, seafood, grog, ordered "off menu", scoped out a porn shop, reminisced at the house where "everyone" got their first hand job, annihilated a pizza at local wrestling hot spot, and got tipsy for dirt cheap while rolling some Duck Pin.
And as always, feel free to share your favorite spots in Silver Spring and Wheaton in the comments.
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Crisfield Seafood Restaurant
http://www.crisfieldseafoodrestaurant.com/
8012 Georgia Ave
Silver Spring, MD
Tuesdays – Thursdays 11am- 9pm
Fridays & Saturdays 11am-10pm
Sundays Noon- 9pm

An old school counter rings the plank floorboards where waiters shuck oysters in the middle of Crisfield's. You walk into Crisfield's and you taste salt, horseradish, and cocktail sauce. Chris and Will have been coming to Crisfield's with their families since they both can remember.
Since there's nothing better than a platter of cold oysters on a hot summer day or a bowl of warm seafood bisque on a cold rainy night, you always have a comfort dish at Crisfield's.
What we ordered: Seafood Bisque, Crab Leg Platter and mini beers.


While we devoured our seafood we got to know our new friend Bruce:
"I've been working at Crisfield's since 1971. It's a family business on its third generation. We sell high-end quality food and that's why we've been around for 65 years. My favorite thing on the menu is soft shell crabs.We alternate between soft shell and oysters depending on what's in season."


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Mandalay Restaurant and Cafe
Burmese
http://www.mandalayrestaurantcafe.net/
930 Bonifant St., Silver Spring, MD 20910-4514
Mondays – Thursdays 11:30am-9:30pm
Fridays & Saturdays 11:30am-10:00pm
Sundays 12pm-9:30pm

Since we paced ourselves eating only appetizers at Crisfield's, Chris decided it was time to go all out on a cuisine the rest of us didn't really know existed in the first place.
Chris: Mandalay used to be in College Park, they moved to Silver Spring a few years ago, it's actually really popular on the weekend. I've recommended many dates for Svetlana here. They have pretty incredible fancy cocktails. Burma is definitely a crossroads on the spice root- so the food is pretty amazing. When you order food here you have to order it "College Park Spicy" which is code for like the hottest shit ever.
Will: College Park aka Nuclear? Is "College Park Spicy" on the menu?
Chris: No, it's not.
Will: How do you know that?
Chris: 'cause I'm a G.
What we ordered: Green Papaya Salad with onions, vinegar and fish sauce, Samosas served with a sweet sauce; and Tofu Ohno Hin "College Park Style" (tofu in a coconut curry base).

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Joe's Record Paradise
http://www.joesrecordparadise.com/
8216 Georgia Ave.
Silver Spring, MD 20910
Mondays – Saturdays 10:00am - 9:00pm
Sunday 12:00pm - 6:00pm
We then checked out Chris and Will's favorite Record Stoe, Joe's Record Paradise- a treasure trove of records, rock posters, and sick aerobics VHS tapes. I am pretty sure I was the only woman in the store.
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Piratz Tavern
http://www.piratztavern.com
8402 Georgia Ave, Silver Spring, MD 20910.
Tuesdays – Thursdays 11:30-am- 1 am
Fridays 11:30 am- 2 am
Saturday 12:30-2 am
After a quick stop at a local gun shop we headed down the street to Piratz Tavern- the best place next to Medieval Times to host your birthday party. As soon as we entered the Tavern, Chris and Will encountered a lovely barmaid by the name of Mouse.

Mouse: I've been working at the Piratz Tavern for 2 years. Most of the people that work here are artists in some way or singers.We have a cast of characters that come through here who are really into the whole Pirate thing and wear really elaborate costumes. If I were you I'd order the grog. People get ridiculously drunk on the grog.
Grog is a traditional naval drink that the Piratz Tavern has brought to its most potent potential. It's basically pure booze: light, spiced and dark rum- mixed with cloves, lime and a dash of ginger beer just so that it's not entirely alcohol. And it's true: grog gets you ridiculously drunk.
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Velatis Caramels
http://www.velatis.com/
8408 Georgia Avenue
Silver Spring, MD 20910
Mondays – Fridays 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM
Saturdays from 10 AM to 5:00 PM
Since the Piratz's Tavern barmaid gave Will and Chris a sweet tooth, we couldn't help but stop in next door to Velatis Caramels, where they make all the goodiemars in house. I don't even like candy- especially caramel and I was totally floored by the Vanilla Chewy Marshmallow cubes.
What we ordered: Vanilla Chewy Marshmallow, Chocolate Chewy Marshmallow, and Sea Salt Turtles.



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Cadmus II
11236 Georgia Ave
Wheaton, MD 20902-4618
We moved onward, to the suburb of Wheaton to check out the porn store that stood at the epicenter of the pre-internet pre-pubescent fantasies of Will and Chris. The second story "video and newstand (sic)" had a lot of merchandise: DVDs, toys, and a nice variety of video taping and electronic cleaning products.
What we purchased: don't worry about it.

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Stained Glass Pub
http://stainedglasspub.net/
12510 Layhill Road
Silver Spring, MD 20906
Mondays – Thursdays 11:30 AM – 1:00 AM
Fridays & Saturdays 11:30 AM – 2:00 AM
Sundays 12:00 PM – 1:30 AM
Looking at all that porn and day laborers put us in the mood for some emotional binge eating. Thank god the next stop was Will's child hood post-wrestling meet hang out, The Stained Glass pub.
At 4 pm on a Tuesday we were delighted to learn they The Stained Glass pub offered a half price pizza special, a bar full of 50-something retired men wearing Redskins Starter brand pull overs, and reruns of Law & Order playing on their hundreds of big screen TVs. The icing on the cake? They brought us FROSTED MUGS for our pitchers of diet coke and Bud.
What we ordered: crab-filled cheese pretzels and a large pizza- both were totally delicious.




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White Oak Duckpin Lanes
http://www.whiteoaklanes.com/
11207 New Hampshire Avenue Silver Spring, Maryland 20904
Hours:
Monday-Thursday 9:00am-11:00pm
Friday 9:00am-12:00am
Saturday 9:00am-1:00am [Cosmic Bowling starts at 10:30pm on Sat-1:00]
Sunday 10:00am-11:00pm
The best way to end your day in the Silver Spring/Wheaton Suburbs is with a game or four of Duck Pin Bowling. The games and beers are super cheap and there are tons of dead serious old people who can kick your ass on the boards.



Previously in Neighborhood Guide:
- 7/14: Merrifield Records + NoVA
- 7/12: Jackie O - U Street Shopping Guide
- 6/28: H Street Guide
God loves a cheerful giver.



















Max's Falafel in SIlver Spring is the best falafel i've had in America. Live in dc but make the drive out there just for that. they have a stand at the nats games also which is good (not all the toppings but still better than eating gross fast food).
how are you going to go to that silly pirate bar when the far-superior-on-every-level Quarry House is right across the street? questionable taste in Silver Spring establishments...
MONKEY COUNTY REPRESENT REPRESENTSENT
this is dumb. tell ruud van nistilroy he's dumb.
Your bowels must have been so sweet that night.
no quarry house or sidebar? The pirate place blows.
While you're at the White Oak shopping center, try Bombay for tasty, affordable Indian food. Or go down New Hampshire Avenue to Cheesesteak Mikes in Hillandale (it looks a little skeevy but trust, it's delish. You can get a foot long with all the fixins super cheap. Plus there's a dark, seedy bar in the rear!)
We did this in the middle of like a tuesday afternoon, so quarry house/jackies/sidebar were not options as they weren't open (but are still great establishments).
Aimee, Cheesesteak Mike's was a staple of my childhood when mom wasn't home and dad took the kids out!
Are these people intentionally trying to look like huge douche bags? Because if so, they're doing an amazing job. Stay in the city, the suburbs don't need you. As much as that new Arcade Fire album is making you want to crawl out of your comfort zone and infiltrate an area that was previously seen as unhip by you.
Also, learn how to use aperture control on your camera. I'm done with this site.
Organic Falafel Stand in Takoma Park, MD,
Mark's Kitchen in Takoma Park, MD,
I know you were trying to take a picture of that girl's shirt, but you should have cropped out her shorts.... looks really bad and I'm sure she's embarrassed. Anyways, I like your new website
That grog is by far the quickest way to get your swerve on.
yeah piratz tavern seems like it would be a good idea but it's been a let down the 3 times i've been. the grog will most certainly make you black out, even if it's not supposed to be that kind of night. the inside kind of reminds me of that episode of fresh prince where will gets a job at a pirate themed restaurant, so that's pretty cool though.
quarry house is the jam and they have a great juke box and booze selection but sometimes you have to be patient for service.
Oriental East on east west highway has some of the best dim sum in the area but you might want to get there around 10:30-11 a.m. because a line forms out the door and it doesn't let up until they stop at 3.
champions go to Quarry Tavern
byt best keep outta qht
157470 @matt: This HAS to be Matt Rose talking
Oh yes! Kensington is my hood. This is like that time I got excited over the fact ffffever's profile picture was my neighboorhood pizza joint. Thanks for not forgetting the 'burbs.
Mandalay was the sleeper. really good.
also, didnt realize Arcade Fire was into Silver Spring. thats cool.
didnt have time to hit Continental Pizza in Kensington, but we tried.
Agreeing with many of the previous comments, Piratz Tavern is terrible. It always seems like a good idea but in actuality it's pretty much a waste of your time.
Quarry House is the bar to go to in Silver Spring, divey and awesome. Wish I had known about it the entire time I lived in Silver Spring.
Negril in Silver Spring is the shit. Seriously. Delicious beef patties, heavenly Coco bread, and the homemade fruit punch is onnnn point.
157636 @Jessica: Los Chorros in Wheaton. Best pupusas - or hit the other side of the block for Woomi - Korean BBQ
why the fuck do you people dress like that?
158081 @shitpipe: Will dresses like that because those are the clothes he makes himself. But I guess that's still too ironic for you.
WHY'D YOU GUYS SKIP CD GAMEXCHANGE? HALF A BLOCK FROM JOE'S AND WAY CHEAPER.
Yeah...cd.gamexchange rocks and has been in Silver Spring for 13 years or so....not just now that it's trendy.