Photos by Rachel Eisley
There have been plenty of times I have heard bands talked up around town, full of promise with stars in their eyes, and then gone to see them only to be massively underwhelmed. The buzz around Mittenfields was almost deafening only one show in, and it became difficult to separate what was the real word on the street and what was being generated by those close to the group. I happened to see their second show and was officially stunned. They were an intriguing mix of a myriad of influences that was quickly approaching something unique. I made sure to see them every chance that I could and then - as suddenly as they appeared on the scene - they were gone.
Now the core group returns this Friday at the Velvet Lounge (be sure to catch Mariage Blanc as well) with some new members in tow, in what will surely prove to be an exciting collection of songwriting mashes mixed with masterful playing. We had a second to do a little e-roundtable before the sheeew. Listen in:
Mittenfields burst on to the scene a year ago and stunned me in their amazing performances and then suddenly, they were gone - what happened to cause the long period of inactivity?
Sadie: Dave will say blah blah, lineup changes, busy schedules, etc. But the truth of the matter is that he was on a year-long, peyote-fueled vision quest. While trekking naked in the mountains of West Virginia, he received his life's mission from his totem animal, the wilily hedgehog. That's why hedgehogs appear in most of the new Mittenfields songs.
Dave: Vacation in Iceland. Honeymoon in Asia. . . lots of places in Asia. Side projects, side projects and side projects. Auditions for new vocalists. Auditions for new drummers. Trying out drummers whose first name is Dan.We are on our third Dan, whom we love. Starting "indie rock orchestras" and leaving "indie rock orchestras." Writing more songs/song ideas than we know what to do with. Never playing those songs/song ideas again.
Sam: I went to Asia, Erik went to Iceland, and we were supposed to pick up where we left off when everybody got back at the end of the summer, but we ended up taking a number of detours before things started clicking again. I like Sadie's answer better.
Ron: I wasn't even living in DC a year ago, so your guess is as good as mine. I'm going to guess that everyone was so excited about upcoming release of the new Halo game that the band became the second most important thing to everyone. That's what life was like for me last summer.
nteresting aspects of the band is that the diverse styles of the members don't blend as much as compliment one another. Everyone in the band seems to be approaching any given song from their own unique angle. What's everyone's background and how did you end up in the band?
Sadie: I'm a classical violinist that discovered, a few years ago, that it's more fun to play in rock bands than string quartets. For one thing, string quartets rarely get free entry to clubs or free drink tickets; the groupies for rock bands are hotter, too. I was recruited into the band by my friend Dan Sachs, a drummer who seems to have since been replaced by another drummer named Dan.
Dan: I play the drums in Mittenfields.I’ve been in various punk/indie/rock bands for years. I grew up in Philly where I was in one punk band throughout high school playing covers and valiantly trying but consistently failing at writing our own material. I went through three more in Boston while in college - a electronica/sludge metal/powerslop band, another Indie /Punk / Rockabilly band called Pray for Polanski and my personal favorite, a metal band called Jäggëdfëtüs (pronounced, Ya-good Fay-tus). And finally now, enter Mittenfields. I met David on his epic quest in wilderness of West Virginia. We had a beard-off and I was savagely beaten.
Dave: When I put the initial ad out to start a band I wasn't really sure as to what I was doing because I was already making music with a bunch of cool dudes who are now known as Crimes of Paris. All I know is that I am in a band with a cast of incredible musicians and beyond that I am just having fun making music with these guys. I think this "unique angle" is best shown by listening to a collection of our songs and knowing that the songs were written by the same band but also knowing that the songs don't sound like each other.
Sam: I hadn't played in a band for several years, other than a few stoner-metal jam sessions. I would say that I have more of a background in heavier music, but then again Erik used to be in a thrash band and can always be counted on to go to a Mastodon or Boris show. I like to think I've managed to channel the impulse to be loud into something that's more focused on being overwhelming than being aggressive, and to tone it down when it suits the song. My main guitar is borderline embarrassing as an indie rock instrument, but I really like the tone. As to linking up with the band, I just responded to one of Dave's craigslist ads (something along the lines of "seeking wall of sound") and was pretty bowled over at the level of creativity and energy he brought to our first little session. I met Erik shortly thereafter on Dave's recommendation; we hit it off right away musically, but I thought he actively disliked me for at least a couple of months. Turns out he's just quiet, and I was intimidated by his Civil War General facial hair.
Ron: My mom teaches music, so I've been involved with music in one way or another since before I can remember. I started out playing jazz and even started college as a performance major, but somehow I ended up finishing with an economics degree. Yeah, it makes no sense at all, so just try to work with me here. Since I was in middle school, I've been playing in everything from ska bands to hardcore bands. Anyway, about 5 months ago I started looking online for something to get involved with. Dave got in touch with me a few months later and now here I am. I've only been with Mittenfields for about a month
A lot of you have multiple musical projects going at any given time - do you think your musical ADD is what brought you together in some respect?
Sadie: OK, you are so right-on about the members of Mittenfields having ADD. In practice, it's a minor miracle when we all play the same song at the same time. And you should ask Rachel Eisley about how tough it was to make us all stand still at our band photo shoot.
Dave: Musical ADD? I'm sorry. . . I. Have. Too. Many. Things. Going. On. Right. Now. To. Answer. You. Please. Come. Again. Soon. All roads lead to Craigslist.
Ron: Could be. But I'm pretty sure I have regular ADD, too, so it's kind of par for the course. Next question...
Sam: Mittenfields is it for me, but the ADD permeates the band pretty thoroughly. I have about 70 hours of tape of song ideas on my computer from a year+ of jam sessions; most of which we'd like to return to at some point, but we tend to get excited about a new idea and just rush forward.
Dan: I do not suffer from such a condition.n>One band at a time, my life is complicated enough.
Do you think that helps or hinders Mittenfields?
I have heard occasional rumors of recording - what does the future hold in that regard?
Sadie: We will be recording a really awesome EP in the next few months, assuming Dave doesn't disappear into the West Virginia wilderness again.
Sam: We're waiting for Phil Spector to get out of prison
You also come from a diverse regional background - where is everyone from originally?
Sadie: I'm from Tampa, Florida, an area of the country known primarily for death metal and theme parks. (Really)
Dan: I have no real home it seems anymore. .. The East Coast? I am originally from Philadelphia, PA and I do identify that as my HOME.<Here’s where things get complicated… But for the past 4 years, I have bounced back from Boston where I (still) attend college and the District.t;I have been working at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center in the Spacecraft Propulsion Engineering Group since the summer of 2008, designing and building spacecraft. So like Sadie said, I am sort of a rocket scientist. I haven’t finished college yet though.pan>As some of my bandmates have alluded to, I will be leaving the DC area at the end of August and returning to Boston to finish my senior year. Upon graduating, I will return promptly next may to drum in Mitten fields full time and also work at NASA full time.
Sam: I'm from a suburb of Fort Worth, Texas, but I've been on the east coast since college. I just acquired my first pair of cowboy boots about a year ago though, which makes me a pretty lousy Texan.
Dave: I am originally from San Antonio, TX. Moved out and toured the country for a couple of years (not with a band). Eventually found myself here in DC with my lovely wife and two Chihuahua's.
Ron: I'm from Bismarck, North Dakota. It's a great place and everyone should try visit it at some point or another. Contrary to popular belief, we don't eat lutefisk every night for dinner (whitefish soaked in lye--I dare you to read about it on Wikipedia). Still, I get told, "You're the first person I've ever met from North Dakota," almost every single day. Because of that, I think I've single-handedly helped 10 teams win at scavenger hunts
re some of the good things about playing music in DC?
Sadie: DC is such a transient place. That means that there's a lot of smart, talented people here, but it also means that stable lineups are hard to come by. For instance, our new drummer Dan, who is a rocket scientist or something, may be returning to Boston sometime in the near future. Luckily, his girlfriend lives in DC, so we are hoping he comes back to visit a lot.
Sam: The DC rock music scene, such as it is, is small enough that it's possible to know just about everybody involved, at least tangentially. That, and either there's been a re-emergence of DIY shows over the past year or I just recently started hearing about them.
<<
In five years you see Mittenfields where?
Sadie: After a meteoric rise and fall, we will be the subject of a VH1 "Celebreality" show. The premise: The five of us must agree upon a single person to date, selecting from a field of Tila Tequila look-a-likes.
Dan: ehhhhh… consider us the next Len…
Sam: We'll either have recorded 10 albums or still be working on the first one.
Dave: Whew. Dreaming of mittens finding their way back to the fields
Thornley brother (John or Paul - we might accept Hemerlein as an answer as well.)
Sadie: Oh I love Matthew Hemerlein! What a talent. I think his songs are great -- I especially love his Danny Elfman covers.
Dave: Well, I am proud to say that I asked John (a little over a year ago) if he wanted to start a residency at Sollys and it looks like it's become a great first Monday night of the month. So it's a tie between John and Matthew because I met Matthew a while back when I was bookingshows at Dahlak. It's nice to see all the buzz he has gotten since then.
Sam: href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerry_Wendell_Thornley">Wendell
What should Dave's next facial hair move be? (Dave - you don't get to answer.)
Sadie: You know, he showed up to the last practice clean shaven, and we were all quite alarmed. Eric shaved off his fu-Manchu mustache as well! I just hope that our fans come for the music and not the facial hair, because Sam's the only one currently pulling his weight in that area. Dave has enough and it grows at such a rate that he really could make it a stage act.
Dan: I just want to say that I don’t appreciate the fact that Sadie forgot I rock the beard as well. It’s not just Sam. Facial hair is well represented in this band with or without Dave and Eric. I don’t see her helping out the cause.
Ron: I think his goal should be to win the 2011 World Beard and Mustache Championships: beardchampionships.com/
Sam: Neckbeard.
God loves a cheerful giver.
I love Dan!
This is utter crap, I mean, HAVE YOU EVEN LISTENED TO THEIR MYSPACE PAGE? It is terrible, how you could ever, EVER waste the time in your day to even take an interview with them is beyond me. It is a disservice to dc. REALLY. And their shows? They play at coffee houses! No one is willing to book this band after they see their poor ticket attendance and listen to them live. Dave is like a wounded dog trying to sing, he needs singing lessons and needs to learn how to sing in tune, it is GOD-AWFUL. Additionally, the songs are not original, it sounds like 90's indie pop, a highschool band could do this better. BYT and their coverage of this stupid band (WITHOUT EVEN A LABEL OR A FINISHED CD!) is unfair to the ENORMOUS number of musicians in this city that are working harder and making better music. I know why this article was written btw, Dave Mann has a HISTORY of email online harassment and strong-arming DC bloggers to push his shitty brand of music, it is THAT bad. Take it from one blogger to the next (and there are not too many DC music blogs
), the fact that you would let this male chauvinist pig even on this site speaks really poorly to YOU and the quality control in place on this site. Dont believe me? Go to their next shitty show and find out. This guy is a joke, a really bad, out-of-tune joke.
I've had occasional issues with Dave and all (like most people involved with DC music), but the above is pretty over the top. Easy money says the commenter has an undisclosed connection to either Dave's former project or an earlier iteration of this band.
157655 @real dc music.: What are the dc bands that *should* be bragged/hugged/kissed/written/talked about?
I agree, the above rant may be coming from a more personal place than the author of the post would care to let on. Nobody could have that sort of venom for what they consider to be just a lackluster band without having some history with its members.
But that aside, there are many who disagree with the assertion that this band is bad. I, too, have heard a great deal about Mittenfields and am looking forward to catching them live. Dave hustles harder than anyone in DC. We can all bitch about it but, in the end, it will probably result in things happening for his band that other, less persistent artists, will not achieve.
Ha! Only on BYT
"Thornley brother (John or Paul - we might accept Hemerlein as an answer as well.)Sadie: Oh I love Matthew Hemerlein! What a talent. I think his songs are great -- I especially love his Danny Elfman covers.Dave: Well, I am proud to say that I asked John (a little over a year ago) if he wanted to start a residency at Sollys and it looks like it's become a great first Monday night of the month. So it's a tie between John and Matthew because I met Matthew a while back when I was bookingshows at Dahlak. It's nice to see all the buzz he has gotten since then."
@ real dc music and whoever else wants to talk shizzzz about me.
I am always amazed at folk who enjoy talking behind people's backs, making accusations, etc. . . and yet, they have the audacity to call themselves 'real dc music' - i am not asking anyone to take mittenfields seriously (it's only rock and roll) but to take your comment seriously without a name attached is crazy. if you are going to "talk some shit" as the saying suggests at the bottom...feel free to include your name...it helps with your reputation.
157655 @real dc music.: All I can add is. . . wow. I am in a band that is 65% girls. Why in the world are they still in a band with a male chauvinist pig?!? I must have my oinks in a row.
Blues.
alright i figured it out. @dave mann and @reel dc music need to throw down a battle of their bands. with judges, the "voted loser" would have to put the word "suck" behind every bandname/project they are involved with.
just sayin.
At everyone: Dave is a great guy, dedicated musician and force for a better ecosystem here. He's a center of the music scene in his own way, and being in that position is something that can easily paint a guy like a jerk. But he isn't.
At everyone: Dave is a great guy, dedicated musician and force for a better ecosystem here. He's a center of the music scene in his own way, and being in that position is something that can easily paint a guy like a jerk. But he isn't.
157655 @real dc music.: (or shall we say Jim Wolff) - Besides the fact that your beef was so outlandishly personal and ridiculous to be taken seriously (and makes you look a little psychotic), you would be well-advised not to talk shit about BYT. It's not really in the best interests of your band, The Cascade.
157687 @Who wants a hug: This is bullshit. Dave was a positive force in the DC music scene. Then he stopped booking shows, formed a bunch of shitty side projects, and made it clear he didn't want anything to do with any band that couldn't help him personally. Fuck that.
157693 @UHHH: I am not so sure this is the platform for this ridiculous conversation seeing that this review is about mittenfields and not about dave mann. if you guys have something against me then the least you can do is to not call yoursleves "uhhhh" or "real dc music" - what is your reason for hiding behind a screen name? As far as my "shitty side projects" are concerned. . . well, thanks for caring enough to listen. Btw, John Foster (who wrote this review), cannot be 'strong armed' into writing something like this. I'd think twice before you question John's decision to interview who he wants. . . we were honored that he wanted to interview us in the first place. I can't help but want to educate everyone into realizing that I have never been in a band here in DC that was "successful" - with that said, why all the attention?
i have it on GOOD authority that dave mann is actually 'uhhh' and 'real dc music', he's just trying to create some sort of faux controversy to drum up support from his friends and start a conversation about his band. something about 'any press is good press'. for shame.
157707 @anon.: I wish I was that clever. I can't even get my grammar right to save my life (see previous postings i have made) - still.....i have it on GOOD authority that no one wants to put their name out there because they have no idea what they are talking about.
If anyone out there had as much gumption as Dave to actually take the steps to start a scene in DC, you should be grateful that people were posting this kind of negative trash about you. Obviously everyone here knows Dave, but who is everyone on here anyway? If you have the gut to complain about Dave and his work, then have then guts to step up and single yourself out. And while you're at it tell us what you are doing about furthering DC music, other than whining about coverage you didn't get.
157714 @Jeff Schad: I like Mittenfields musically, but those of you who think DC music lives and dies with Dave need to get out more. Sockets Records, the Cherch, Fort Reno, Positive Force DC -- these are examples of people actually doing something to foster a DC scene. Dave does what benefits Dave, and if there are ancillary benefits to the DC scene, he doesn't mind taking credit for them.
I'm not bitter about BYT coverage. I've had BYT coverage. I've played bigger shows at bigger venues with better bands. As you may have noticed, my first comment here was actually in defense of Mittenfields. What causes me and a lot of other people I know to slap our foreheads, and why I've said anything negative at all, is this absurd notion a bunch of you are repeating that Dave Mann is a selfless champion of the DC music scene. Dave's just a dude with one good band and a varying number of less-good side projects. He quit booking shows for other bands to have more time for his own projects and ran a (now-defunct) 'collective' to recruit members for his bands. That's nothing to be ashamed of, but why not leave it at that?
157742 @UHHH: great review/lame comments.dave mann..blah blah blah blah blah.does dave consider himself to be any of these things?if not, everyone should just move on. dead horse. dead horse. dead horse.and this "i've played with better bands/better venues". . . whatever. . . what is everyone here trying to prove anyways?what was the byt review about?uhhhh seems like someone in the dc scene who might be "friends" with dave but otherwise would prefer to stab dave in the back when he's not looking.gotta love dc.
This is really some middle school shit, people. Nobody gives a fuck about our little musical community (which, I have to agree with UHHH, is a very small subset of the music that happens in DC - I feel like a broken record with how often I say that) except the people in the scene. This is all just masturbatory discourse amongst musicians with no public cred to fight over. SO Let's all focus on the aspects we enjoy (writing and performing the songs) and, like, not focus on bitching at each other like thirteen-year-old girls. K, cool.
Listen you pee-ons, I created this music scene here in D.C. Ian MacKaye is my father and Shirley Horn my mother. World electronica ala Thievery Corporation? I invented it. HarDCore? My idea. That motherfucker Chuck Brown even stole my creation called GoGo. I taught Dave Grohl how to play the drums and Duke Ellington how to swing, baby.
If I hear one more nobody talking shit about me, I'm going to summon the ghost of Marvin Gaye and get all Benjy Ferree on your asses.
Oh yeah, I also came up with the name for Le Loup's first album.
I am a complete douchebag and my band The Cascade stole all our songs from Dave Mann. Now I'm anonymously posting shit about him. Hey ladies arent I a catch?
http://www.myspace.com/recordlabelvsrecordlabel
Hi everyone, I am the real Dave Mann! I like to play shitty indie rock and then harass all the bloggers in DC to cover my band. They dont care? I will make them care!
157755 @VJ Kapur: I agree with this. Not necessarily saying I don't believe the things I said, but I regret getting involved.
I dont know much about the 'scene' in DC, but these guys are from Fredericksburg and they play some sweet, sweet metal.
http://www.myspace.com/eternumetal
Hi everyone, this is the real James Wolff, and look at what I stumbled on ...
this is the "real" james wolff.... nice try dave look at all this spam you are posting, what are you trying to do up the comments in your BYT article so it makes you look relevant? BTW I found out that you posted on Jacobs FB:
Dave Mann: looks like the cascade got my sloppy seconds. . . hahahaha...too funny! hope all is well!" ---
So do you think that we would not see the credit you have been giving yourself on our behalf, you think it wouldnt get back to the band that you have been trying to email our show promoters behind our backs and our contacts, or that you have been trying to play OUR songs and singing MY lyrics .. hey do you remember that part "and even the mighty lions eyes, will lose their shine"... OH YEAH I know you tried to sing it, someone sat in on your practice and told me all about it. What gives you the right to fraudulantly insist to your unsuspecting band that YOU had ANYTHING to do with that, how long was it before your band asked you why dont you know the chords to your own song? That is DISGUSTING. ... oh yes I know all about the score FRAUD .. how many score copies do you still have of mine? Did you steal it from my music folder the last practice before you were kicked out when I was not looking??? Do you even know how to READ my SCORES??? What did you do, photocopy it and remove my name??? Really, stoop that low?
Do you think if you will keep telling everyone that you are the real genuis behind all of the songs and yet dodging every questions when it comes to what went down and how you were kicked out ... do you think that anyone will even care? I wonder how many other people in DC you have crossed?? Seems to be no end of people who are appalled by you. You spend all your time on the web trolling us and what do you have to show for it? You are single handidly the most outrageous fraudulant FAKE I have EVER met and your behavior is UNBELIEVABLE. I hope everyone in DC finds out about you and stays far away from you and your fake label, I consider it a service to the community, outing a compelte HACK and FAKE. Leave us alone.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack, bitches. Outta jail and I gots a new target. His name is Dave Mann. Or is it James Wolff? Maybe it's both. You can't keep my down, BYT.
@DAVEMANNSUCKS: Yeah, I really pity all of those bands who were taken advantage of by Dave's rapacious "record label." Shame on you, Dave; when people talk about the death of the record industry, they're talking about predators like YOU! -E
Neither "jim wolff' nor the person claiming to be "this is james wolff" are actually james wolff. i know this because i, james wolff, am in actuality the real james wolff. any other person purporting to be me, james wolff, should immediately cease and desist from such conduct. i find it libelous and have every intention of bringing a lawsuit against brightestyoungthings.com and any other party that continues to condone this eggregious behavior. this defamation of character will not stand, man.
If you have any questions, they can be taken up with my attorneys at Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr, LLC and they will explain to you my rights and that false representation is a serious crime.
I'll see you in court, Dave Mann.
Wow. What's that old saying about arguing with fools in public?
At least it's obvious that that there's only one lunatic in this thread; there's a certain brand of crazy writing that's nearly impossible to pull off without actually being batshit insane (or 14 years old).
157771 @THIS IS JAMES WOLFF:
I have to debunk several things that your saying @ THIS ISJAMES WOLFF AND real dc music
Whatever shadowy people you are trying to portray. I have this to say for everyone that was present when I made the comment about Dave's intellectual property being Jim's yeah about that. I was wrong, I consulted the recording that was made that night at Mid City Cafe and see that I was mistaken. So what evidence is there now?
Any other character attacks on Dave made here or Jim Wolff, I know are on record and won't easily go away. For every backlash there is always a frontlash- I don't personally agree with being so editorial about their lives and making hurtful accusations when I respect them as musicians and used to count them as friends. Things need to be seperated out, the buzz, the hype, and the truth. If you like the music continue to support Dave Mann and James Wolff projects for the music, man. FTW
I just play guitar, man. Blues.
i never understand amanda's sorta mediating sorta buddy buddy thing. she's just kind of a moron who tries to be involved in things to make herself seem important. oh and she fucks those things up pretty bad like over half the time.
well this is all interesting. I thought this was all spam until I clicked the link to amvsfm records, what is this Dave Mann's deal? Real in DC is right, that guy is a total scam artist, there is zero information about the label online, it is completely fake, why is that even up there? This is what is wrong with the recording industry, people like Dave Mann.
157805 @jeff: Are you retarded? The label seems like a project that never got off the ground. How is that a 'scam'?
157821 @UHHH: #1 JUST LOOK AT ALL THE COMMENTS. THEY ARE ALL RETARDED.
#2 SEE #1
157824 @this whole thread is retarded: touche.
I can see Jeff's point, this band has two tracks on a myspace with just 685 friends? This is a tiny speck in the DC, it makes me wonder how this article ever got green lit for a real music blog like byt. Oh and I also agree, that record label website is probably just another one of Dave's projects that never got off the ground, it probably does not matter, unless he has been trying to use the name to attract unsuspecting artists or bands, but then again, who would be that stupid to sign to a record label that has no online presence and a myspace with no information on it? It seems suspect.
I just listened to the mittenfields myspace. not impressed, and it was only two tracks?? lame. Maybe this Dave Mann guy should spend more time working with his band perfecting their songs and making a full cd rather than spending his time talking shit about the DC music scene and burning all of his bridges.
@jeff is jim wolff
@kyle is jim wolff
@tommy is jim wolff
DEAR JIM WOLFF YOU ARE A FUCKING MANIAC PLEASE GO AWAY
Not a bad way to get BYT/Washington DC to know your name/band. . . just rip on other bands (namely this guys band who he has some sort of a history with) and make sure your name is posted on every comment. The best BYT can do is take this down (hopefully this band's ego will not be hurt) and let the big bad wolf prey upon somebody else. Somebody should run the ip addresses and call some people out.
1. We're not going to take any comments down. 2. Let's just assume that nobody is who they say they are on the internet. 3. Any more personal attacks on people or dirty laundry airing is not welcome here. Go away. 4. BYT supports local music of all kinds, if you have a band or know one that we're criminally missing out on please let me know by emailing me at peter AT brightestyoungthings DOT com. 5. Here is a useful emoticon you might want to use when you feel upset:
Good luck!
Just came back and read this entire thread after having commented early on. This is absolutely poisonous -- I'm shocked by how deep the reserves of hatred go for something of such little consequence (not saying that about Mittenfields specifically...I try and make music too and I would say the same thing about my efforts.
It's music, that's all.
Hi,
Just wanted to say I play in one of Dave's side projects. Every time I show up to practice there is a new cute girl there. Cute girls playing music is never ever a negative thing.
Consider that.
if i ever come out to DC don't let me find your hipster ass out and about. you wanna talk smack, do it in private! don't be a punk who hides behind a computer. btw, your pussy must hurt with those girl pants so tight. ease up hipster!
This is really hysterical. And that must be true since I took the time to read all 47 comments. All I can say is that I'm SO glad that I come from a small, supportive local music community and we never have to worry about anyone having the audacity to publicly bash someone. Of course we all have our own opinions, but we keep them to ourselves, the way adults typically do, you know, the kind that don't try to make up fake names on internet blogs. Grow up, DC!