Brightest Young Things

By Brandon Wetherbee

Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody most Monday nights at the Looking Glass Lounge and in Brooklyn and Chicago once a month. Listen to it online at youmethemeverybody.com. He’ll be at vitaminwater uncapped LIVE on Sunday June 12 at 4pm to record You, Me, Them, Everybody Live! with guests Phillipa Hughes, Erin Jackson and Justin Jones.

“You, Me, Them, Everybody Live!” is being recorded this weekend. Unlike the last few years, this one will be for both the audio and visual crowd. Since we began working on capturing this thing on video, I’ve been thinking about the boob tube.

Television is a good thing. Your attitude towards the box is not what’s up for debate. Yes, I’m sure you’re a fan of “The West Wing” because you’re in D.C. and that’s law. Yes, “The Wire” was groundbreaking television that every American should watch. Yes, “The Daily Show” does shine an important light on the hypocrisies of our culture. But not all television has to break new ground. In fact, TV is an idiot box and that’s not a bad thing. Being dumb on late night is a proud tradition. In fact, it’s the main reason I own a television.

Every late night show has the same format: intro, monologue, desk piece, interview, sketch and performance. Why? It works. Occasionally talk shows try to shake things up and change formats. This explains the huge ratings successes that are “The Chevy Chase Show,” “VIBE,” and “Last Call with Carson Daly.” The formula is important and should be praised. Here’s my list of the best. If you don’t agree with any of them, that’s cool, I’m sure “Family Guy” will be on in re-runs until your children are sick of “Family Guy” in re-runs.

Best Intro

Michel Gondry directed “Jimmy Kimmel Live” opening

While on a promotional tour for no one’s favorite super hero movie “The Green Hornet,” Michel Gondry whipped us his version of a late night opening. The result was something only Gondry could produce. It’s a shame it was only used once.

Best Monologue

Craig Ferguson on “The Late Late Show”

He does it every night without a script. Unlike the other hosts, he doesn’t tell jokes so much as stories. It may bomb or it may kill. The fact is, it’s the only thing that’s being done without a net. It’s brave. It also features puppets and a robot.

Best Desk Piece

“Late Night with Conan O’Brien”

I may be basing this on the fond memory of doing Pimpbot impressions in junior high, but Conan from 1996 to 2004 was amazing. The desk pieces were as odd and funny as anything “The Kids in the Hall” produced. Then he lost some show and shit got weird.

Best Interviewer

Stephen Colbert on “The Colbert Report”  and any other show he appears on

Colbert was able to take what he learned on “The Daily Show” and do it to the subjects face. He is the first/only interviewer to have the crowd applaud him. He seems smarter than really smart people. Also, the paintings behind him are godlike. Whether he’s on his show or a guest on another, Colbert knows how a simple Q and A could be the best thing in the show.

Best Sketch

Anything that has Gary Shandling plugging a fake product or in a costume on “The Larry Sanders Show”

Yes it’s a show within a show about a fictional talk show, but funny is funny. Or it’s dumb and that’s funny. Seeing Shandling/Sanders in any sort of oversized hat, superhero outfit or with a Garden Weasel like seeing the best of Carson without having to sit through 20 years of Carson.

Best Performance

Iggy Pop on “The Late Show”

Sure, Jimmy Fallon has the best music acts on late night, but he’s never had Iggy shoving his dick/broccoli into the faces of a live studio audience. Until that happens, Iggy Pop on Letterman in August of 2001, a simpler time, will be the gold standard for music on television. It sounded like hell, the crowd hated it and a man that would soon qualify for social security was still able to talk his way into your daughters pants.

Whether or not you like these things is up for debate. At least we can all agree that the worst of this is still better than anything Byron Allen has ever produced.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night.