by Brandon Wetherbee
Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody most Monday nights at the Looking Glass Lounge and in Brooklyn and Chicago once a month. Listen to it online at youmethemeverybody.com. He’ll be at vitaminwater uncapped LIVE on Thursday, June 2 as part of Show & Tell: An Evening of Pop Culture Nostalgery.
I model myself after Bozo the Clown, Johnny Cash and Mr. Rogers. I will be talking about the last man tomorrow night. Here’s why.
If for some sad, unfair reason you do now know who Mr. Rogers is, I am very sorry. Here’s a brief summary. He was a children’s television host for over 30 years. He invited us into his home, loved jazz, brought us into a land of make believe with puppets, fed his fish and kept everything clean. He wasn’t addicted to anything, never fondled a child, never raised his voice. He was a super cool dude that live in Pittsburgh.
Fred Rogers is my god. I know this is blasphemy. I know he was a Presbyterian minister. I know he would not approve of this. I am not proud of this. Even so, he’s the closest thing I have to a deity and I refuse to let it go. He was, to me, the most compassionate entertainer ever to appear on television. Also, maybe most importantly, his show always delivered. Yes, he made children’s programming, but it didn’t pander, didn’t drag on and didn’t suck. I’ve compartmentalized Mr. Rogers the same way Christian’s compartmentalize their god, as the father, son and holy spirit. Rather than use their terms, I’ve decided to use The Thermals view of religion.
The Body
Mr. Rogers taught us that our bodies are our temples. The guy never got fat. Good for him. He worked at not getting fat. Tom Junod profiled Mr. Rogers in Esquire in 1997. He mentioned that Mr. Rogers swam most every morning in the nude. To me, nothing says good health like strutting around pools in the nude.
In addition to old school workouts, Mr. Rogers was always up for something new. He embraced break dancing in the early 80s. Has your god ever promoted fringe culture on public television?
The Blood
Mr. Rogers stood up for what he believed. His 1969 appearance before the United States Senate Subcommittee on Communications may bring you to tears.
If a man can get money from some of the most awful people in the world simply by reciting lyrics from “What Do You Do with the Mad That You Feel?” he can change the world. Yes, this is getting super cheesy and I'm on the verge of tears, but that's O.K. If a man can't tear up about public funding, what can he cry about?
Though he was on television for decades, he maintained a healthy private life. He was married to the same woman for over 50 years. They had two children and three grandsons. None of them were used to advance Mr. Rogers career. He knew better than to plaster his children’s faces onto cheap merchandise to make a dollar. The man didn’t sell out.
The Machine
Machines are our friends. They make our world better in every way. Whether they’re making crayons or helping our friends get around, machines are good. Here's Mr. Rogers introducing us to a new friend, Jeff, in 1980. Jeff needed his machine.
Jeff’s machine was used for good. Mr. Rogers knows how to manipulate technology for the betterment of everyone. Without machines, we wouldn’t know Mr. Rogers. When his family brought home their first TV, Mr. Rogers was appalled at what he saw. Rather than complain, he decided to be on television. He was D.I.Y. and I’m sure he never smelled bad.
This is the closest I'll ever get to a spiritual guide. It may just be nostalgia for a simpler time that was never actually simple or it may mean I'm still an angry 8 year old. Whatever it is, I'm happy with it. It is you I like and I like you for being you.
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night.
Previously in comedy:
- 2/10: Behind The Desk 35: Spotting THE Crazy In the Arts (Vol. 2)
- 2/7: LiveDC: Demetri Martin @ Warner Theatre
- 1/24: LiveDC: Adam Carolla @ Fillmore
- 1/20: Behind The Desk 32: Eddie Brill Is Common
- 1/17: LiveDC: JB Smoove @ 930 Club
- 12/8: Tom Arnold - Up Close & Very Nice
- 12/5: LiveDC: Michael Ian Black @ Sixth and I Synagogue
- 12/5: Lauren Weedman-BUSTED
- 12/1: R.I.P. Patrice O'Neal - brilliant 1969 to 2011
- 11/30: BYT Interview: Michael Ian Black
God loves a cheerful giver.
this was great! i feel the same way about Mr. R.