Brightest Young Things

By Brandon Wetherbee

Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody most Monday nights at the Looking Glass Lounge and in Brooklyn and Chicago once a month. Listen to it online at youmethemeverybody.com.

It’s fun to talk to people. It’s fun to demand attention. It’s fun to talk to people while demanding attention. It’s fun to get gifts. It’s fun to drink with people that give you gifts. It’s fun to see comics. It’s fun to ask comics about their bits after they perform their bits. It’s fun to see live music. It’s fun to not have to go to shows at venues that are less than desirable. It’s fun to host a talk show.

“Why are you doing this?”

I get this question a few times a week. It's usually followed with, "What type of show is it?" (this is asked regardless if the person I'm speaking with has seen the show, as if I could magically edit the show to sound like "This American Life") and "What's a podcast?" I respond with, "It's a late night show." and "It's like a radio show for people that don't listen to radio that probably have a liberal arts degree." Back to the original question, why do I host a talk show?

I grew up in a household that always had a television on, blaring whatever at whomever, no cable needed. Day and night, there was a low hum and a bright light. I was never a fan of game shows or day time talk shows. There’s a reason all the commercials are for junk yards, bankruptcy and diet food. The sadness is just too overwhelming. I did enjoy late night. I watched Carson’s and Leno’s monologue with my grandmother each night from the age of 7 to 13. I didn’t understand the jokes, probably because I wasn’t a middle-class white man with dick problems or they just weren’t funny. Even so, I watched, night after night, trying to understand why the people in the audience were laughing but my grandma and I weren’t. I came to find out that people on vacation that have a sign lighying up in front of them that says, “APPLAUSE” tend to do as directed.

After television came rock and roll. I quit football the day I bought “Siamese Dream.” I quit everything else when I bought “In Utero.” That led to ‘singing’ in bands, going to punk shows and getting uber-political because Bad Religion is a good band. Also, I was right about everything ever. Without this mindset, I would have never started a zine so aptly named “Foul.” The zine led to zine readings where people actually show up in places like coffee houses, book stores and D.I.Y. venues to hear people talk about things they think they’re experts about. Yes, dear reader, people will venture outside of their humble abodes to listen to snot nosed teens. Once you read your very ill informed thoughts and opinions to a group of people that haven’t used deodorant since ever, you become empowered. For better or worse, this is why I spend most of my hours working on becoming a professional talk show host.

“Why are you doing this in D.C.?”

Because my girlfriend got a job in D.C..

Washington D.C. is not a cultural hub, or at least it’s not thought as one. When I moved here in the fall I figured I’d have a difficult time finding a venue and guests to make up a weekly talk show. I was happily incorrect. Within a week I found the lovely and divey but not stabby divey Looking Glass Lounge. Thanks to this site I was able to discover amazing bands, authors and comics. I already have my favorites. I’m also dumb enough to tell you my favorites. Michael Foody is a stand up comic that will be stolen from for years to come. Dave Zirin, a sports columnist for The Nation is a passionate writer. He’s such a good guest that even if you hate sports you’ll be interested in what he’s saying. That’s not easy to pull off.

Ugly Purple Sweater make music you don’t have to be ashamed to listen to if you’re 14 or 64. They’ve all been on my show. I’m lucky enough to call them acquaintances. This city has no shortage of great people doing great things. It does have a shortage of people not wearing white undershirts at all hours of the day.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night.