Dear Lindsay,
I'm going to send this internet care package now so that hopefully, by the time you get booked, there'll be something to welcome you besides the cold steel of your bunk frame and the lingering smell of the Skid Row hooker who used to occupy your cell. I'm crossing my fingers that The Man hasn't rifled through and confiscated all the PRIMO shit before you get this!
Anyway. Best of Luck girl!
Your Fan 4-eva,
Libby
PS: hit me up on twitter or bbm when you get out in 2-5 days
CONTENTS:
An array of Sharpie markers so you can draw on your eyebrows to fit in with your cellmates- plus you can sniff them and get high!
A Teddy Bear filled with Meow Meow the legal British club drug that's a makes you feel like you're on the best parts of Cocaine and Molly- plus you can hug the Teddy Bear when you remember that nobody loves you anymore.
A Pack of Scrunchies so bitches won't be pulling out your extensions in the yard!
A Variety Pack of Capri Sun, because you can't bring your Kombucha into jail with its glass bottle and alcohol content- plus I'm sure you can use the aluminum foil to freebase!
An introduction to your spirit animal, who will guide and protect you in this time of need.
A copy of Guy Debord's The Society of The Spectacle 'cause I'll think you'll get a lot more out of it than The Secret.
God loves a cheerful giver.
Remember when Omar from the Wire shivs that guy in the balls/penis region? I hope that doesn't happen to Lilo
related posts: women in prison movies: http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/movies/grindhouse-babes-in-prison-movies-4-everyone/
she's gonna have to change the writing on her fingernail to say "please don't fuck me"
Give her some phonebooks to use as body armor
on wednesdays, we wear handcuffs