Brightest Young Things

All photos and words by Chris Svetlik.

Sometimes art galleries just don't involve enough bending over, sweating profusely, and crouching really really close to complete strangers. But not Flashpoint. This past Tuesday was Flashpoint Gallery's 'Awesomeness Squared' event, which was really just a glorified Twister tournament, bathed in a lot of PBR.

I went to photograph but was encouraged to participate in the tournament. Up for grabs for the winner was a PBR bocce ball set. I still don't really know what that game is, but I was super pumped to win the balls. At the very least I could sell it to some dorks on ebay. As I am probably the least flexible person I know, I naturally picked the most flexible person I know to form my team. We submitted the team name "Team Helen Hunt", a reference to the 1996 emotional-roller-coaster-of-a-disaster-flick, Twister, a reference that I think no one got.

(DISCLAIMER: My team doesn't end up winning, and I'm still pretty bitter and torn up about the whole thing.)

We showed up and scoped out the scene. There was lots of PBR, complimentary pigs in blankets to munch on, and a bunch of twister mats taped to the ground. Lots of young lithe bodies stretched in anticipation of the contortion to come. There was also Battleship and Connect Four set up at tables for the weak of body and spirit. But for the strong...

ROUND ONE: Off to a great start. I topple early, but my teammate carries us. Suck it, Team Superstars.

ROUND TWO: Piece of cake. I again contribute nothing personally to the success of my team, but we roundly defeat Team Right on Red.

I check out the tournament bracket and we've apparently made it into the Elite Eight. Proper adherence to tournament rules would imply that we would now face off against someone else who won a second-round game, but instead...

ROUND THREE: Somehow we're paired with some noobies who have just walked in off the street. It later becomes apparent that they are hustlers, but they feign ignorance about the rules at first and require it all to be explained to them. Game on, and they then proceed to play dirty, cheating constantly while at the same time throwing out all kinds of spurious claims of infractions by Team Helen Hunt. They eventually win the round, and then proceed to win two more times to clinch the championship. HUSTLED.

In all seriousness though the event was a lot of fun and Flashpoint seems really cool. Soon they'll be opening a new exhibition by Bradley Chriss involving ironic visions of the end of the world - watercolors of pretty meadows with rivers of blood and guts flowing through, and the like. Stay posted.